One of the things I hate about living here is how far I am from my hometown. My husband actually goes back to Klang Valley more often than I am! His work is more flexible than mine and I am forever jealous about that.

Hari tu, he wasn't around and I suffered from a very bad haemorrhoid experience. OMG, never in my life, now I know how it feels like. At first, I didn't know it was the haemorrhoid, I thought I was just uncomfortable because of my growing tummy. First timer kan...I had no clue until I bled, so I googled, and found out haemorrhoid is actually common especially in the third trimester. (Nasib baik I pandai sikit, I wasn't freaked out when I saw the bleeding thinking I was in labour or something like that. Kalau tak, malu je pergi Emergency Department kan...)

I was at my 28th week of pregnancy at that time. Terus I nangis nangis because I can't imagine having to endure the pain until my 40th week. Nak duduk tak boleh, nak baring tak boleh, jalan terkengkang kengkang. Oh, lemah sungguh. Haha!

Then, mysteriously, it resolved by itself within a few days- An abrupt ending to a stupid drama.

Sambil bergoogle-google tu, I was curious about sex after delivery. Macam horror je I baca, some people tunggu 10 bulan okay! It's not just the women, it's the men too, especially those who witness the birth, they feel guilty and traumatised because they feel it's their fault making their wives suffer from the labour pain...

I don't want abstinence for months, I mean, I don't want my husband to go stray, but I will soooooo make my husband watch me go through the labour. I don't care, I want him to be next to me, not being able to sleep like me, and I want to claw into his skin when I am in pain. He just has to witness the whole event, I don't care...!!!

Speaking of jalan terkengkang kengkang, actually, now that even though I am pain-free, I am still jalan terkengkang kengkang because my God, this baby is heavy! I also gain weight, so that probably explains the extra lemak between my thighs, it is so uncomfortable when they touch each other, especially when you are sweating. Kalau sujud tu, kaki dah tak rapat.

And the most uncomfortable thing about pregnancy is the vaginal discharge. Benciiii...It's not itchy or anything, it's just...Wet...So unsexy....

Okay, enough female stuff!

Following my previous post, I received quite a number of comments, which made me a little bit excited because I thought now I have more blogs to read. Unfortunately, most of my readers are anonymous people, urgh, you guys disappoint me! And the people's profiles who actually link to actual blogs, well, I already have them listed in my blog roll. Haha!

Oh, well...

The other day, I asked my husband: Do you notice any changes about me during this pregnancy? Am I a horrible person when I am pregnant?

My husband said, "You dah tak marah-marah macam dulu. You lebih banyak bersabar..."

Me: Mana ada I suka marah-marah dulu!
Husband: Ye...Dulu sebelum mengandung, you selalu marah-marah I. Lepas tu, you kuat merajuk...Tapi sejak nak jadi mak ni, dah cool down dah...

Eh, yeke...???

I also complaint a lot. Like, how I am tired, how it is difficult to get up in the morning...My unsupportive husband said, "Eleh, sabar lah sikit, orang lain mengandung pun macam tu jugak..."

Wah, wah, wah...Sedapnye dia bercakap!

So, one night, I pressed his tummy while he was lying down, giving him approximately 2kg force on his stomach, and said, "Abang! Macam ni lah rasanya ada baby dalam perut!"

He went, "Ouch...Abang tak boleh bernafas!" trying to struggle away from me.

"Cuba bayangkan ada 2kg atas perut you, 24 hours a day, for 2 months! Haaa...Macam ni lah rasanya..." Geram punya pasal, I continued pressing his tummy. Baru rasa kan...

A few people have commented that my tummy is small. It is not small. My obstetrician has measured my tummy and scanned my baby, he/ she is actually bigger than expected. Please don't grow so big, baby, mummy wants you to be healthy, but please don't severe my vaginaaa...

Just now, my husband texted me and said he has gained 1kg.
Baru 1kg dah kecoh...
I think it's because I am getting better at cooking, but my husband cakap, "Jangan nak perasan."

He actually blames this pregnant woman's eating habit that's been influencing him.

So, starting from today, he said, no more rice for dinner.

Truth is, I really don't mind, in fact, I am so happy joget hula hula because that means I don't have to cook and I get to rest! Yeay!!!

Oh, and since entering the third trimester, there were already 2 people who complimented on my looks. Baru sekarang pregnancy glow tu nak datang kannnnnnnn...!!!

Better late than never! Major self-esteem booster!
Me: Abang, ada nenek tua cakap I cantik...
Husband: Memanglah isteri abang ni comel...Muka bulat dah sekarang!
Me: I rasa mesti ramai lelaki rasa I cantik tapi tak berani cakap sebab I pregnant...Takkanlah nak puji puji isteri orang kan...
Husband: Eleh, perasan...
Me: Betullah...Mesti lelaki lain cakap, kenapalah perempuan cantik tu nak youuuu...Hahaha...!
Husband: Tak lah, mesti diorang cakap, hebatnya Mr. Ectopy ni, dapat isteri cantik...Respect, respect...!!!

I am so looking forward for June. It's my shopping month and so many meaningful dates to celebrate!

I will be like one of those people who writes about politics and annoy people who don't agree with me.

Anyway...

1)
I still have faith in my country.
So, please stop accusing people of not doing their job.

When the Customs Deputy Director-General Datuk Shaharuddin Ibrahim was murdered, I immediately thought about the wife and children he left behind, how shocked they must be. I even cried a little just thinking that it might even occur to me.

It is scary how easy people can get fire arms and heartlessly shoot a target.

Then, I read about people blaming the police, on how they are not doing their job.

Oh, come on...

That's like blaming the teachers because there is a bad pupil in the class.
That's like blaming the doctors because a patient dies.

Bongok lah.

Then, the election came...Then, they accuse the SPR for not being just.

So, okay, from what I understand, all these people are not doing their job, except for you lah? All these people are not honest, except for you lah?

Some people simply speak their minds without even thinking. Not once they tried to put themselves someone else's shoes.

They don't think about their friends and families who might be one of these poor people, and how they would feel when people simply speculate without knowing what really happened.

Worse, they spread the news making more and more people vulnerable towards hatred.

2)
I would always vote a candidate depending on how well I think he/ she can lead, regardless what party they are representing.

Having said that, I am majorly disappointed that Sarawak might be led by Tan Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud.

He looks like a conman, I don't trust him. Well, I don't think I would trust anybody that age with a wife like that. So annoying!

3)
While other people were busy anticipating for the updates and results of the recent GE13, my husband and I watched MotoGP live.

That race was probably the most intense I've ever seen since I first started watching MotoGP, which was, when I married my husband.

The above was the clash between the young Marc Marquez (he's just 20 years old) and the Lorenzo, competing for the second place at the very last corner of the race, just a few seconds before the finish line.

Lorenzo was really unhappy when he had to settle for the third place, all the while during the race maintaining second position behind Pedrosa.

I'd say Marquez really has guts. He took risks, doing the young and dangerous thing. It was a good race.
Selamba dia je nak bump into a senior kan...My husband said Rossi did that kind of stunt before.

All the top 3 winners were from Spain. Haish, makan apa pandai bawak motor laju-laju ni...

4)
I urge everybody not to sulk. Whether you like it or not, the result is out. So, move on...Stop mourning. There's nothing you can do about the past.

Tak payahlah nak ber rally rally. I'm sure if many participate, it's hard to control the crowd and bad things are bound to happen.

Menyusahkan orang je, nanti jalan jam.

I don't want my country to become like Egypt, okay!

It's better to move forward. This kind of act can paralyse our economy growth. Don't scare away the foreign investors!

I thought we all want our economy to prosper...Show them how stable we are!

By wanting our economy to prosper, that doesn't mean to go as far as 'asking for help from the US'.
What stupidity is this?

First of all, the Americans are not the leaders in this world, second of all, they themselves are really not an honest lot, and last but not least, why are we creating an opportunity for them to take over our country?

Crazy, ah?

5)
I am against racism.

So, please stop speculating dark skin people are Bangladeshi (well, some people rudely call them Bangla). Even my husband could be mistaken if you blindly simply judge his looks.

I, myself, don't look like a Malay, so I am deeply sensitive about this matter.
I, myself, was once a minority, so I know how it feels when people discriminate you.

These people who mindlessly comment about the Bangaladeshis obviously never experienced the pain of having to reside in a country not their own, when the locals keep thinking that you are trying to rob their country.

One of the people I respect on Facebook went to length of commenting about their BO. I lost respect for her immediately.

I mean, if you work as a labour under the hot sun, you would stink too. If you were unfortunately born as a poor person, you wouldn't have so many fresh clothes to change into or you wouldn't be able to afford to buy a deodorant.

If you hate them so much, stop hiring the Indonesian to be your maids. Stop hiring the Bangladeshi to build your houses.

Don't ever think you are above someone else. Always be humble.

Some of this foreign workers married the locals. Not all of them are stupid. Some of them even went to study at University level, but they just can't find jobs in their country. Have you even been to their country and see how much they have to suffer? Do you really think they enjoy coming to Malaysia having to leave their beloved family behind? Dapat pulak boss boss yang pandang rendah pada diorang.

Jadi, tak perlu berlagak sangat, okay. Kau berjaya sikit pun sebab ada orang tolong.

Some of them are more qualified than fellow Malaysians, that when they come to Malaysia, they could build a fortune because they are hardworking. Malu lah sikit.

Kata tak racist, tapi komen memang racist gila. Kata Islamic, habis tu, kau tak rasa some of the Bangaldeshis to orang Islam ke?

6)
Another friend on Facebook, proudly announced that he has been to more than 50 countries and "Malaysia is the worst in terms of fair elections."

Hahahaha!

Seriously, can I just unfriend this guy?

First of all, he had been in more than 50 countries as a tourist, only for a few days at a time, not as a resident, not during their election time, how the hell can he make this 'smart' conclusion without doing any background research?

Second of all, he had to repeat his University year, not once, but twice, and we all probably why he was unable to finish on time (too much travelling), or maybe, we all probably know how he had the time and money to travel to more than 50 countries. Of course, he would say, he has the rights, because itu kan duit rakyat, duit rakyat kan duit dia jugak...Aku bekerja mengumpul duit untuk berfoya-foya...Well, orang suruh belajar, bukan buat kerja lain.

Tolonglah jangan buat statement bodoh, especially bila dah tua-tua ni.

Rolls eyes multiple times.

7)
A lot of people say, "Melayu/ Orang Islam kena bersatu padu."

Betul tu. But I think, it is more accurate to say: Malays need to wake up, stop being lazy, stop spending more than you earn, stop expecting for Bumiputera quotas, stop asking for more subsidies!

Tapi, bila time nak bayar tax, banyak pulak yang mengelat. I don't understand your Mathematics, you want cheaper this and that, but you also don't want to pay for tax. Apa ni?!!! Nak tunggu duit turun dari mana? Orang suruh berniaga to generate economy, kau tak berapa nak yakin pulak. Semua benda nak senang kan?

8)
People are asking for cheaper car rates.

I don't agree. That just means more and more people will buy cars, for their children, the roads will be more and more congested. Oohh, kereta murah, jom beli...! We know Malaysian mentality, selagi dia rasa murah, dia akan beli, tak kesahlah dia mampu ke tak. Menambahkan hutang adalah.

I tak tahan okay!

I will be more than happy if anybody offered to expand our LRT and Komuter rails and system to be more effective and accessible, so to promote public transport.

9)
Went for my antenatal check-up.

Baby's gender is still a mystery. Kali ni dia bersujud pulak. Husband kata, "Bagus anak kita, dia suka sembahyang kot..."

I am now borderline anaemic. Gonna increase my meat intake from now on!

I was at work and saw something unpleasant. So, I made a comment:

Me: Eeee! Siapa yang tak buang karipap basi tu!
Colleague: Mana?
Me: Tu...Dah buruk dah karipap tu. Buang lah...!
Colleague: Hahahaha! Ectopy, tu bukan karipap lah! Tu buah katak puru!

 

Honestly, don't they look like some kind of amateurish karipap?

Okay, I swear that was the first time I heard and saw it in my entire life. OMG, at this age, there are still local fruits out there I don't even know about.

Sedap ke buah ni? Awat berkerutu macam tu?

Of course, my husband laughed at my silliness. To my defence, I have never even seen this being sold at pasar-pasar! Ada ke? Ada keeee???

-----

My husband bought me two kain batik.
He said, "Untuk buat baju raya."

But of cource, that's not convenient since I'm going to pop this baby out around that time, and there's no way I can send the kain tu the tailor with this figure or using my old figure as a guide. My body will change!

But the kain are cantik lah okay.

Me: Abang, thank you! Kenapa Abang belikan I kain ni? (excited)
Husband: Tokey dia ada contact with 'such and such', so I tengah melobi dia lah ni. Investment untuk masa akan datang.

Oh, so that's why I got the kain batik! Not because he loves me, not because he feels like I deserve them, but because ada udang di sebalik batu!

He should've just lied to my face. At least I would feel better about it!

------

May will be a busy month for me. Busy, busy, busy.

Just the thought of it makes me depressed.

One day in April, I couldn't take it anymore, so I cried.

I kept thinking, I am going to have this baby but I don't have time to buy any preparations for the baby yet! When will I ever have the time?
April was too early.
I will be extra busy in May.
I'll probably deliver in July, I'll be probably too breathless to even walk by then.
That leaves me with June only.

Only one freaking month to sort out everything!

And the fact that I might not be allowed to be on the plane by June. How am I going to endure long journeys to Klang Valley?

I plan for a one-week off, so that means speed shopping in just one week.

I felt like a failure. Like I'm a bad mother.

My husband ni pulak relax je. Like, what the hell, don't you love me and our baby!

Menangis menangis I time tu, thinking about other people who religiously apply stretchmark cream every single day while I ni tak pakai apa-apa langsung and thinking about how I don't have any pretty clothes that fit me...

(In retrospect, a Professor told me there's no cream in the world that can prevent stretchmarks, at least not anything is proven to work. And that blogger who applied so many expensive creams to avoid stretchmark every single day during her pregnancy, well, she still got stretchmarks towards the end of her pregnancy. So, let's pray I will miraculously be stretchmark free...)

I also thought about how people at work have been bullying me, they simply chuck me here and there ignoring my current condition...

God, I so hate this place! I hate this place, how many times must I say!

At the same time, I didn't want to be sad and depressed because I want my baby to follow my example, be strong, be patient, be sincere, because we just have to believe there will be a bright light at the end of the tunnel, all this will be paid off in one way or another! Biar Tuhan membalas sikap-sikap mazmumah mereka!

Chewah, semangat!

So, that was my breakdown story.

-----

My boss was right. We have lost our happy place- Facebook.

It's now filled with political talks, from the SAME people over and over again.

Either politics or advertisements.

Sakit hati! Like, sudah-sudahlah tu...

Orang yang berilmu lebih banyak diam. Bila bercakap (dalam kes ni, menulis), biarlah kata-kata yang baik. Yang tak elok tu, lebih baik diam. Diam okay, diam! (Tapi orang yang tak diam ni selalu berlagak like they know it all)

Observe, listen and make decision. You can argue in a healthy way, at a proper place.

Oh, and did you know, I have this one emotional girl in my friendlist. Because of the differences in political views between her and her relatives, then biasalah, ada post-post perli perli with name callings and such, the other party terasa and publicly announce: "Saya takkan memaafkan dia sampai akhirat."
Why are you being so childish!
Then, other family members started to masuk campur and nasihat nasihat, but masing-masing degil. See lah, they get too emotional until clouding their own judgements.

Until today, I blame my friend who is actually friend with her (that's how I got to know her). Like, what sort of friend do you have lah!

I pulak...Well, I never deleted anybody from my friendlist before this. Perhaps I shall start soon.

Serabut.

My happy place has been destroyed...

-----

I had a nightmare.

This time, I didn't cry in my sleep, but I cried right after I woke up because it was so horrible.

In the nightmare, I had to give birth. I didn't see my baby because I had some sort of bleeding or something.

When everything settled, I asked to see my baby. Somehow, my boss was there. He broke the bad news to me, my baby in the ICU fighting for his/ her life.

Then, the doctors counselled me to let my baby go peacefully. But I refused, I want them to do everything they can to make sure my baby stay alive. I don't even care if my baby has brain damage. I could take care of him/ her.

It was horrible. Macam manalah I tak nangis kan...

Well, it was just a nightmare. I'm sure my baby will be okay, InsyaAllah. Yakin pada ketentuanNya.

-----

My husband is a likeable person.
I, on the other hand, am quite an objective type of person. I don't care to please other people.

My husband is friendly, talkative, easily making friends. I am quiet especially around people I don't know.

But, because of this habit, my husband oversees a lot of things. He tends not to double check his mistakes. I ni pulak, memang pantanglah nak buat kerja dua kali...Buang masa, tenaga, wang etc...

For example, hari tu kan, dia belikan I a gold bracelet kan. So, I senyap je lah while he was making jokes with the salespeople. Duit dia kan...I just told him which one I like and wait for the payment to be made. Lagipun, I didn't want to look over excited, I mean, must act like, "Meh, I buy this all the time, biasa je..." Hehe, persepsi orang itu penting.

At home, barulah I start to admire my newly acquired jewellery. Because it's quite expensive, I pun belek-belek the receipt. I realized something didn't add up.

So, I complained to my husband (sambil membebel why lah he's always so careless! No wonder lah exam tak dapat straight As, hahahaha, I can imagine how I will nag my future children regarding their exam marks). Anyway, my husband went back to the shop to clarify those things, and guess what? They had to pay us back RM369!

RM369 is quite a lot for me, okay! I can buy many things with that RM369!

Lepas ni, kalau I beli barang mahal, I will pinch my husband's thigh whenever he starts to be talkative. Stay objective and concentrate, boleh tak? We are spending thousands of ringgit here, helloooo!

And that was not the first time.

I remember, a few years back, before we got married, he bought me an Oris watch, and guess what? The leather strap was not the original Oris strap! I found out because I meticulously inspect the watch (haha, masa tu kena check betul-betul takut boyfriend beli barang tiruan, agak materialistic di situ...Eh, tapi sebenarnya I just had to check because I don't believe in using fake brands, I rasa berdosa sikit.)

Well, because of that incident, I seriously thought he bought me a fake Oris watch, then, he showed me the receipt as prove (oh, sungguh nightmare dapat girlfriend macam ni, apasal lah kau nak kahwin dengan aku! Haha). Then, he marched to the watch shop and demanded for the original leather strap. The shopkeeper bagi alasan apa tau, he said hari tu ada orang nak beli just the leather strap, so he took out the strap and then he forgot to replace it.
Like, what the fuck!

Eeee...Kalau I jadi my husband, I terus lodge police report je...Barang ribu-ribu okay, bukannya murah kau nak tukar tukar macam tu.

Agaknya lah kan, dah berapa banyak lah my husband ni rugi, asyik kena tipu je...Tuh lah, baik sangat...Men simply cannot talk when doing business, men cannot multitask!

Me: Bertuahnya Abang ni, dapat isteri yang pandai...
Husband: You tu berkiraaaaaaa...!!!

Eleh, even if I was calculative, I still bring you profits!