I am in the middle of a conflict.
It's good that I am not taking sides and I get to listen to both parties. It really opens up my eyes as there are many ways to view a matter. I can understand the frustrations of both A and B, and truthfully, it's really nobody's fault and everybody's fault.
Anyway, I, myself become a victim of rumours.
There's nobody to blame, except for the people who choose to believe the rumour.
It hurts so much because
- it's not true, duh...
- my work goes unappreciated
- people end up hating me for no reason
- I am not even given the chance to explain things or defend myself or convey my side of the story
I cried because people even question my sincerity of doing my work, when in fact, ikhlas tak ikhlas tu adalah between me and God.
Sometimes, sometimes...I lose respect to orang konon-konon alim, pakai tudung labuh, sebab mulut mulut yang celupar. In my case, bukan mulut, tapi type dekat Whatsapp secara celupar. Lagi bahaya, sebab ada evidence.
Mentang-mentang I ni tak cantik, muka pun ala-ala tak suci, tak ada cahaya terpancar, senang-senang je nak lempar fitnah dan menuduh I melulu. Sampai a colleague of mine warns me that I am being targeted. Sedih sangat.
Sometimes, I question why God tests me in such way. Tapi macam kelakar pula, I ni, baru kena jentik sikit, dah nak mogok and quit my work. Lemahnya...
Whenever I feel upset because I need to work and leave my family, I think about my maid.
Maid I, anak-anak dia kecil lagi. Beza setahun dua je dengan anak I. Tapi, sebab nak mencari rezeki punya pasal, dia tinggalkan anak-anak dia. Handphone pun tak ada, nak bercakap ke, nak Whatsapp ke, nak tengok gambar ke...
If she's good to my family, I hope I can help her family too, InsyaAllah.
2 hours ago