Saturday, August 2, 2014

I wanted to scold, but I didn't know how to scold without yelling.

I haven't been really angry in a looonngg time. I managed to get myself together ever since I found out I was pregnant. I controlled myself just so my son would grow in a healthy environment.

And usually, I get mad at work, not at home.

Just now was probably the first time Mother saw me got really angry in my adulthood. I guess I was really scary that Mother chose to stay out of it.

I was yelling to my maid, then to my maid and her daughter. My maid's daughter, who is also a maid, ran away from her employer and suddenly appeared in front of my house tonight.

This problem is way petty compared to the problems they are facing in Gaza. I am considered lucky. But still, I can't sleep. I thought I can have my weekends for rest, but now, this!

Anyway, while trying to think of a solution to my problem, I thought of what other people would do if they were in my place.

I quickly thought of Father.

Then, it occurred to me, he would have been super angry too. And I realized how I can be so like him sometimes; serious, stern, ill-tempered, scary, tough, fierce, straight-to-the-point.

I don't talk to my maid unless I need to, hence I don't listen to her story. I know I will pity easily, so that's why I am determined to make her job as professional as possible. I don't care about your sad life, as long as you do your job, you will get paid. I am not your counsellor, not even your friend, I am your boss.


I am my father's daughter afterall. And probably the one who inherits the bad/ good of his character (as mentioned before)  the most. Al-Fatihah.

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