I have cooled down a bit after staring at my beautiful sleeping baby. So, tonight's post is dedicated to my son, Baby K.

The best motherly quote that I absolutely adore is something like this:
God makes babies in heaven and they live with their angels. Then, God would send them to Earth to be born. The babies are worried, "Who would take care of us? Who would play with us? We won't be seeing the angels anymore..." God says, "There will be angels waiting for you on Earth. The angels are your Mothers."

Aww...I am my baby's angel... :)

But I can't understand people who would harm a child lah! How could they! Tak kesian ke haaa!

Anyway, back to my baby...

He's currently 9 going to be 10 months old. He only started crawling at about 8 months old, which got me a little bit worried at first.

My son is so young but he takes up so much space. Whenever I pack for us, his stuff would be more than mine, my handbag is no longer mine, more like his, since inside are his items. When he sleeps, I have to squeeze (because his dad wouldn't), it's funny. Haha.

And not to mention his size. I love his body. Chubby and tall, like a handsome, young man. Muka tu dah kurang baby, rambut je baby lagi ie: botak.

His toothless (still) smile lights up my entire world. He can be demanding and can express his emotions better, it's exciting figuring out what he wants. He is extra clingy with his daddy. The sight of my husband can make him stop whatever he is doing at that time just to be with his daddy. Even when daddy passes by the living room to go to the bedroom, he would cry for attention wanting to follow. Daddy's boy sangat!

Baby K doesn't care about me so much. I am the less fun parents. I don't bring him to the playground (daddy's job), I don't bath him or change his diapers (daddy's job)...He only searches for me when he is sleepy or hungry, hehehe.

But I don't really mind. I am proud he has that special bond with his daddy. On the other hand, that's one of the reasons why I must continue to give him my boobies, he wouldn't care for me if I can be subtituted!

I know I should teach him to sleep on his own, don't pamper him too much, instill discipline as early as possible, teach him ABC and 123...But, Baby K is just a baby, he is my baby, and I always make excuses for him, let him be a baby, there are years more to come to scold him, "No!" --> I hope I don't regret this soon!

I may not be the mother I wanted to be. I let my baby eat food with sugar and salt (I can't control this when I am at work, especially when he's being fed  by his grandparents), I let my baby eat preservatives, from Heinz food and processed food. I don't always cook for him but I am the best I can be, or at least I try the best that I could.

My baby deserves a perfect life. It's so heart breaking when I have to separate him from his daddy. It's all because Mommy wants to learn and work and learn and work...

Soon, there will be no more sloppy kisses from Daddy on a daily basis. Although my husband has given me his blessings for taking this route, although there are a lot other couples who survive LDR, I couldn't help but feels like a damn selfish human being.

We could've it easy but I would not settle. I hope God will ease our quests and soon, we will be reunited again, because we deserve it. Amen.