I thought I was lucky for this pregnancy, the kind who wouldn't feel a thing and breeze through the period for 9 months until I pop out a kid.

I had severe nausea and vomitting. Severe to me, severe enough to make me think about checking in to the nearest the hospital, but I didn't. I counted, 14 times of vomitting that day, practically waking up every single hour to run to the toilet to vomit not food content, because the vomitting had drained my stomach empty, but bile! Have you ever tasted it, multiple times, over and over again? It really tasted like the content of my instestine instead, yerp, like shit.

Me: Abang, I nak pergi hospital...
Husband: Nak pergi ke? Ala, biasa lah ni muntah muntah masa pregnant. Isteri kawan Abang macam ni juga...

All I can think of, "Kepala hotak! Orang dah separuh mati dekat sini, senang senang je dia cakap tak payah pergi hospital! I don't care. If this continues tomorrow, I am going, I am so going to the hospital! Tak larat dah ni..."

My husband ni pulak, obviously doesn't watch enough Western movies. When I vomit, one should hold my hair up, that is more important than rubbing my back vigorously, (you should do it gently instead), I ended up getting vomit stain all over the tip of my hair. Then, I had stomach cramp because I bent down so many times for so long.

I was dehydrated, so I asked for water and food when I felt intermittently okay. My funny husband said, "Eh, mana boleh makan minum! Nanti muntah lagi. You biar je perut you kosong."

Eh, what logic is this! Orang lain siap paksa isteri lagi, minumlah sikit, makanlah sikit, perut tu kosong. My husband ni memang thinking outside the box lah kiranya. Sabar je lah I. I juga yang terseksa di situ.

That night, he didn't even sleep next to me.

Me: You ni, siap tak tidur sebelah I lagi. Biar je I muntah sorang-sorang! Pentingkan tidur lah tu, tanak I kejut!
Husband: Eh, bukanlah. Nanti you tu cakap you muntah sebab bau badan I lah, apa lah. Baik I lari awal-awal. Kalau tak, tak pasal-pasal kena marah dengan you tengah-tengah malam buta.

*Narrow eyes*

The next day, I vomitted less and finally, able to tolerate some fluids, even though not much but an improvement. I didn't go to the hospital in the end, but I ate very minimally for three days straight. I was afraid to eat, and at the same time, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to provide much nutrients for my baby, I felt like a bad mother.

Forced myself to work but spent some time at the sink anticipating the puke. I only felt a whole lot better on day 5, which is today. But, today pulak ditinggalkan husband 3 hari. :(

The above occured before my first baby scan, and all sorts of things ran through my mind. I consulted my friend in Obstetrics, and we were scared of molar pregnancy, which is, well, kalau orang-orang Melayu cakap, baby kena culik Jin, basically, your baby is not there, just the sac!
If that happened, I'd be like, OMG, gila lah, all this for nothing!

I was really anxious before meeting the doctor, siap nangis semua, thinking the worst. Finally, the day of my appointment arrived, Alhamdulillah semua pun okay, my baby is tiny...Haha. And I don't gain weight pun. I remember my husband puji-puji, "Comelnya awak ni! Tengok, pipi dah bulat. Boobs dah besar! Perut dah nampak..." It's all in your head, honey.

Despite all of this, my husband is such, such a dear. I am so lucky, I don't know what I did to deserve this nice man in my life.

My husband prepared the pail next to our bed. If I vomitted all over the place, he was the one who cleaned up after me, sambil menahan his own puke, yes, I saw his facial expressions! Lepas tu I tak masak dah lamaaaaa dah, but he didn't complain, dia buat Maggi, or beli dari luar. He layan je whatever I want, anytime. Macam-macam I minta. He did the laundry without being asked, dia sidai baju, dia angkat baju. He handwashed my bras. He also senyap je kalau I terlupa to iron his work shirts. He cleaned all the toilets. Buang sampah. Basuh pinggan mangkuk.

Sangat syukur.

Retrospectively, in the midst of the drama, I told my husband, "This is the only baby we are getting. I tak sanggup." Teruk kan? Muntah sikit dah tak tahan. I pun tak paham. I ni very tough, keluar masuk hutan, turun naik gunung, terjun sana sini, tapi bila muntah tu terus rasa down gila. Never felt that helpless in my life. It's probably because I am rarely sick. But can you imagine, if I can't handle the vomiting, how do you expect me to endure labour pain? Oh no!