Friday, March 16, 2012

I thought, by being anonymous, I can write whatever I want. Hehe. The truth is, I still can't! Because in order to protect an identity, I can't describe something in detail, or, if I decide to share the event in the blog, I can't tell to anybody I know, unless I am really, really sure that he/ she won't find this blog. It's either the blog or the friends.

I started this blog before I got married and before Father passed away. Now, I am somewhat more stable, like any other people who are at this stage of life, I think I tend to talk more about my job. You know, because I don't really have friends at work. Hence, I can't really talk bad about that person! I am so pathetic.

I am so restricted because I am still not ready to expose that part of me. At that same time, whenever something happened, I'd have the urge to rant about it. Sekadar melepaskan perasaan untuk kepuasan diri sendiri. It's driving me crazy!

But, I myself am quite weird. You see, last week, this was what I wrote:

"I came back home in anger and disappointment mixed with hatred towards my boss.

It's regarding one of our clients and my boss thinks it's my fault.

I was okay at first, didn't mind much about it. But then, one by one, my colleagues and my other boss, came to me as if extending their condolences.

It was that bad? It hit me. I was humiliated and unnecessarily blamed.

I continued my work until I arrived home, eyes all swelled up.

Never did I ever think I would cry after being slammed by a person at this age.

Now, all I can think of is how unfair is the world, how mean my boss is and is it really worth it to do what I do."

Sampai situ je.

At that time, I was really crying and I was so angry and I typed and typed until...I thought too much of how I was going to filter of what to write. So, my attention shifted to somewhere else and got tired.

Then I slept, and I left it hanging just like that. Haha. Konon je nak berdrama.

Probably, I don't really need to write. I just need to do something that would take my mind off it.

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