Friday, July 8, 2011

You've heard it, and I hereby to confirm it: You won't get to know a man until you marry him!

I was culture shocked when I actually tried to live in my husband's hometown. Although I frequented the town before we got married, but it felt different and I was still surprised.

During his humble reception, if I were an outsider, I would have laughed and sworn on my life not to ever do his dorky colour combinations. Erk.

He had one yellow canopy, red table cloth, we wore purple and our room was blue. His parents did not even wear proper baju Melayu and baju kurung. I can bleed from my eyes, seriously.

The first few minutes, I kept recalling on how I ended up with this man. In the meantime, I kept glancing to my family members, hoping that they expected this. Obviously, I did not.



On the journey to his hometown, I finally told Mother, as a warning, "Rumah dia tu kampung tau."

Mother probably knew what was coming, "Asalkan tak payah naik bot...Saudara Ma hari tu, nak pergi rumah menantu dia kena naik bot. Terkejut semua orang."

That was a relief.


After the ceremony, I was invited to his relatives' homes.

For the first time ever in my life, I sat on the floor, eating dinner kampung style!

To me, the act of sitting on the floor to eat is only during kenduri arwah and breaking fast in the mosques.

Of course it was awkward. My kain had slit and I can't move my legs as I like when they fell asleep. So I lied, "Kain ni ketat sangat."

Later on, I was brought to his biological mother's which entire house is smaller than my room.

So, is this what my husband meant when he told me the reason he was being secretive about his family? Ashamed? Inferiored?


I thought about Father and related to him.

Compared to Mother, Father's family was not very well-off too. Mother married him anyway. I don't know the details, but I know they had their difficulties earlier on.

Why, then, was he so against my husband and I when things are so similiar between us?

Father's principle was simple. Each generation should improve, we should be better than our parents. He proved to be a great role model, I salute him for that.

He married a woman who had a better life than his, so perhaps, that's why I should marry a man who could provide more for me.


My short life in my husband's hometown was not very exciting. I was treated like a princess most of the time.

Being bored is not good because you start to have ridiculous thoughts like, "Even my grandparents don't live like this," or "I am so scared to raise my children in this environment because I don't want them to become like them."

Seeing I had time to be filled in, my husband remembered a book I always wanted to read, written by Tun Dr. Mahathir, 'A Doctor In The House'. He bought it when it first came out and the book has inspired him.

I only read until page 66, I think, but boy, it does make an impact!

You know, even though we live in kampung houses, we can indeed be successful as long as we have the right mentality and the emphasis on education. It really doesn't matter.

Thank you for throwing away my bad thoughts.


Here's the rationale.

You just have to be redha with your jodoh.

You just have to have strong faith that he is the best for you, the most suitable for you.

My husband is best and most suitable for me because he keeps me grounded. He opens my eyes to a world that I'd never imagine could have been mine.

Just remember, if you want a good partner, you yourself must be good to match him/ her.

Always, always feel blessed with what you have.


Anonymous said...

all the best for u..

Anonymous said...

yup.. couldn't agree more with your point

Anonymous said...

had that experience before. i hope he will treat you nicely and make it all worth it.