Thursday, June 16, 2011


Sometimes, I get readers complained that I have changed. Some said they no longer like what I write. I know that I am so bad in replying comments, I really want to, but time does not permit sometimes. Some other times, I do not know what to say back. I don't like being defensive because probably, all the comments that were directed to me are true.

I am aware that I don't have many readers. It's not what I intend to achieve. Probably that is why I don't mind if there are people who hate me. You stumbled upon this blog and you read about me, this is me, the person you don't know how she looks like, where she lives, what she works as, you don't know. What you know is only I have my ups and downs, I have my regrets, I make mistakes, I whine and can be grateful all at the same time.

I also realize, sometimes, that I have become angrier or more impatient or more competitive. I see all the others have that I want, that sometimes, I forget to appreciate what I already have. I always want the best.

Sometimes, I think, there is nothing wrong of wanting the best for myself. Oftentimes too, I think, there's nothing wrong of having less than the best, as long as they serve their purposes.

I admit that I might have changed. I grow.


Whenever my boyfriend came over to my house, he will hug and kiss whichever kid there is at that time. The typical question that he would ask any of them is, "Nak ice cream?"

So, naturally, like the Pavlov dogs, the sight of his figure will make them all excited because they know, my boyfriend means ice creams!

One day, the kids were causing me a headache, shouting and jumping around, so I scolded them, "Don't scream!"

They stopped screaming alright. But with big twinkling eyes, one of the kids asked me innocently, "Ice cream?"

"No! I said, Don't scream!"

"Yeay! Ice cream, ice cream!" she started screaming and soon, the screaming became infectious and all the kids shouted and demanded for ice creams!

My boyfriend created the monsters.


Last but not least, it's the wedding season. So many of my friends got married. And boy, they wore the prettiest gowns, prettiest make ups, prettiest shoes, prettiest receptions, prettiest pelamins, prettiest photos...

I feel so small. (Shy)


weed something out said...

be calm..


SpitItOut said...

there is nothing wrong by being "people changed" ... lumrah hidup