Tadi, I kemas dapur. Rumah bersepah gila. Then, I entered the kids' room, tengok my daughter's clothes box bersepah, terus rasa marah. Like, how...! Can't you see the house is so messy, lepas tu bila baju dah lipat elok-elok, ambillah elok-elok! How many times do you expect me to kemas kemas kemas dan kemas! This anger was towards my husband because he was the one who dressed my daughter this morning! And I blamed my daughter too, because I'm pretty sure she said no to many outfits until she found something that she liked.

Daughter knew she was guilty, and she said- I'm sorry, Mommy, please forgive me. Do you forgive me?

This girl memang pandai, kaki bodek, sweet talker.

My son pulak, cepat-cepat hugged me really tight, while whispered- Calm down, calm down...

Haihh...Manalah budak-budak ni belajar kan...I am blessed, Alhamdulillah. They are really good children, ada kekurangan masing-masing, but perfect in my eyes. I always tell them- I'm so grateful to become your mother. It's true, I really mean it.

Anyway...

Hari tu kan, I tengok Tik Tok. Sometimes, I think, I am often different than the majority. Pemikiran lain. Am I weird?

Example 1:

Pasal isu staff llao llao bagi extra topping. And the comments were like- I pernah kerja so-and-so, I selalu bagi lebih. Bukan duit I pun, tak apa.

Another comment: Buat apa kerja extra, bukan company kita pun. Boss tak kisah pun pasal kita.

Like, I find it so disturbing yang bercakap ni Melayu Islam. And ramai pulak tu yang menyokong.

One- itu bukan hak you nak bagi extra extra pada customer. Tu tetap dianggap mencuri. Ke I yang salah ni? You nak pemurah sangat, you take it out from your pocket lah...Bukan ke itu namanya tak amanah?

Two- Whatever happens to giving the best when you work on something? Sure lah, sometimes you tak dihargai, tak dapat duit lebih, tapi kepuasan diri dan ganjaran dari Allah kan ada...Kenalah buat sehabis baik. Ni kerja pun cincai...

Seriously, generation yang menakutkan.

Example 2:

Pasal isu ASB. Like, oohh, dapat dividen sikit. Not worth it, bla bla bla.

I pulak macam- You nak duit lebih banyak macam mana lagi? You bukannya actively main saham. You letak je kot duit you dalam tu, lepas tu, you expect nak dividen banyak-banyak? Like, how, you don't even sweat and you expect free money? Sure lah, dulu dividen lagi tinggi, it's getting worse, bla bla bla. But, at the end of the day, why so many of you rasa money should come that easy? For me, kalau I dapat static amount pun, I tak kisah. Sebab, I letak je duit dalam tu.

Yang marah ni, mostly orang yang ambil loan lah...Tapi, before you signed the agreement, takkan you tak tahu semua benda ni risky? Orang yang paling kaya, ialah orang yang tiada hutang.

Example 3:

Pasal isu pergi Dubai/ other Gulf countries dan dilayan buruk. Hhmm...Itu pun nak jadi isu. Hahaha...I don't understand. Like, so? You dekat Malaysia, you Bumiputra, you rasa you lah yang terpaling first class. Bila you pergi overseas, you get bad treatments, you tak puas hati pulak. Habis tu, yang selama ni you buat dekat orang lain? Pandang serong pada orang Bangladesh, Nepal, Indonesia, Rohingya, Filipina and Africans?

Funny, you rasa you have to dress better, speak better or introduce yourself as a Malaysian.

Sometimes, it's just their culture. Kita rasa diorang tu rude, sebab budi bahasa orang Malaysia ni terlebih tinggi sikit. Padahal, orang tu biasa je, that's just the way they communicate, especially if English is not their first language. Tak payah lah nak sensitif sangat...

I am weird because I actually enjoy when people underestimate me. Not that I rasa I want to prove something to them at the end of the day, but I like to feel how people view me if I have nothing. I am an empath, and I like to feel how other less privileged people get treated.

I feel like those kinds of experiences would humble me and keep me grounded. And I think the reminders are important in my life. Embrace it.

Kadang-kadang memanglah rasa marah, like, why are you so rude. Tapi tak adalah sampai, I demand you change your attitude because I am so-and-so. Kita pun setakat Malaysian je, currency pun kecik. Kalau you rasa hebat sebab you ada Dr or Ir or Dato etc, hhmm, tak payahlah...Tu cuma title je okay...

Pelikkan I ni...Even at work, I don't mind kalau clients ingat I ni kerani biasa je. Tak kisah pun, bukan hina pun. Not that I am avoiding from my actual responsibility that I pretend to be clueless so that I don't have to answer difficult questions. Tapi some clients memang macam tu, when I try to explain things, they don't want to listen sebab diorang ingat I ni kerani! I really tryyyy...Ada yang taknak pun pandang I ni. So, tak apalah, I biar je lah clients tu deal dengan orang yang dia comfortable with, and eventually orang tu akan refer balik clients tu pada I. Hahaha...

And no, bukan sebab kitorang buruk, sebab kerani semestinya cantik-cantik. Hahaha. Mungkin, there's something about my face, or the way I talk. Tapi mostly orang cakap sebab I act younger than I actually am, orang pun tak percaya I ni bos.

Terima je lah, kita ni memang nobody. Tak jadi isu pun kalau kita dapat layanan biasa-biasa. You nak happy, it begins within yourself. Bukan happy sebab orang layan you macam anak raja. I pun geram okay kalau orang demand layanan special sebab orang tu adalah mertua kepada menantu dia punya pakcik yang kerja sebagai PA seorang VIP. Whattttt...Orang yang waris sipi sipi ni lah yang biasanya membuat onar. Setakat menumpang nama orang tu je...Hahaha...