Malam ni adalah malam terasa hati. Sensitif.

I kan kerja, sekarang dipertanggungjawabkan for this task. Basically, I can help you and your family achieve certain things lah. And, remember how a lot of people don't like me and are talking behind my back? I think it is not as bad as before, plus, I no longer mind about it, tapi, malam ni tetap I nak terasa hati.

Because, even though these people refuse to see me for favours, and say bad things about me, they still need my help. Okay, tak apalah, I tolong. After they got what they want, they don't want to help me clean up. Balik macam tu je...

Contohnya, tadi kan, kerja tak habis lagi, tapi sibuk nak minta excuse, because apparently, it's their lunch time. Of course lah I terasa kan, tadi, sibuk sangat nak bagi nama family masing-masing. Lepas tu, bila dah dapat apa yang dihajati, dia tinggal je kita untuk before we officially call it a day. I feel so used.

Ada sorang ni pulak, dah lah tak nak bertegur sapa dengan I, tiba-tiba dia bagi nama saudara dia, through another staff. Like, okay, you malu dengan I ke, memang tak nak tegur I sampai mati ke...Kalau tak suka I, tak payahlah nak selit-selit kan...Tapi, biasalah, muka tak malu kan...

Ada sorang ni pulak, I text dia, you know, asking about stuff and all, but no reply. Fine. Tiba-tiba, malam ni, bukannya menjawab soalan I tadi, malah minta tolong I untuk benda-benda yang tak berkaitan dengan soalan tadi.

Like, okay, I thought you were busy just now, and didn't have the time to reply me.

But, now, he is giving me a list of names. Obviously, you are not busy to reply to others' messages, except for mine, right? I mean, if I were him, basic courtesy lah, I would say, "Sorry, tadi I busy...Anyway, to reply your questions, bla bla bla...By the way, could you help me pass the names for bla bla bla."

The way he did it was, completely ignoring my previous long messages, and tiba-tiba, dia nak minta tolong pulak.

I memang terasa kot...Like, what am I to you? You only contact me when I'm convenient to you?

Why are you so selfish!

Tapi, inilah perangai manusia. Kita hanya mampu bersabar. I nak mengutuk diorang balik pun, takde siapa nak jadi my ngumpat buddy. So, I kutuk diorang balik dalam ni je lah...

I still remember the rumours- they said I ni keras kepala, degil, tak dengar cakap. Siapa yang keras kepala sekarang sebenarnya? When I tell people, to stop bothering me, but, siapa yang datang mengendeng ngendeng dekat I time dia memerlukan? Nampak sangat sweet sweet bila depan-depan je.

Esok, I nak puasa, dan semoga Allah bagi pahala banyak-banyak dekat I. Entahlah...Biarlah orang tak suka I. Memang I cannot expect everybody to like me pun. Semoga dosa-dosa kita terampun dan sentiasa diberi hidayah.