I am against forced marrieage.
This includes child marriages, when the child is not ready yet.
Also, including child marriages, even if the child agrees, because as we know, a child can be easily influenced, manipulated, and whatever understanding that a child has, won't even come close to the reality of marriage.
I'm also against unplanned pregnancy. Especially, when they shouldn't be pregnant for health reasons.
How selfish can that be? You can die. Your baby can die. Your wife can die. Your other children can lose their mother. And you knew but you don't care.
Then, you come to the hospital, expecting to be saved. God can save you, but what are you doing?
Of course, I can't be mad if they are already taken all the necessary preventions and they still get pregnant, I consider that a miracle. Hehe.
Anyway, what makes me write today is the news of the Sabahan young mother with 4 children, and she ended up slitting all 4 children and herself.
She's 30 years old with 4 kids, aged 8 months to 8 years.
She had her first when she was 18, she was pregnant at 17.
What I did when I was 16? I shook my niece because she was crying when I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone.
It's not something I'm proud of, but it happened.
I quickly snapped out of it and felt insanely guilty, but that quickly thought me why a teenager shouldn't be left alone with a baby. It scarred me until today.
I didn't hate my niece, I love her with all my heart, but I still shook her to shut her up.
And...I was supposed to take care of her for 1 hour only, max 2 hours, while my mom went for mengaji Quran and while waiting for her parents to come home from work.
I was most rebellious when I was a teenager. I was horrible, impatient, irritable. And I was considered to be good one.
Imagine, even me, as a good teenager (comparing to the rest of my peers), can't even hold my temper.
What I'm trying to say is- you can be mature at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, you can be intelligent emotionally, but, usually you don't have the patience yet to deal with kids. Because you yourself is still a kid.
So, yeah, no.
When you are young, you are not supposed to have children. Be committed to your work or studies instead. You can get married, but don't have children so early.
(A couple of my friends did this, get married at 20 and 22 years of age, went to the US and Australia with their spouse, have sex and all, but no children until they are ready)
Once, I read a comment, a mother of many children, who is so proud- Saya boleh minta tolong anak yang sulung untuk jagakan adik-adiknya. Umur 9 tahun tapi boleh mengemas rumah dan memasak.
Wow, you are proud of making your daughter as your maid? She's supposed to be studying and playing. Not taking care of YOUR babies. That is not her responsibility, that is yours.
I'm sure our mothers and our grandmothers did it. They did it because they didn't have a choice. They didn't know how to contracept.
Most of them had children who died in their hands, those days. I'm sure they didn't want that. Nobody wants that.
Did you know what they did to cope? They gave away their children. Not all, but most did. If they didn't, they must be the lucky, affordable ones.
Do you know what impact it has on the children who were given away? They were scarred for life, feeling unwanted, unloved, 'Why me?'. I know because my husband is a child who was given up. He's in his 40s and still finds it difficult to forgive, despite knowing why his mother had to.
To me, if you want many children, biarlah berkemampuan. Bukan every time you bagi excuse, accident...Orang accident kereta banyak kali pun, patut masuk jail and tarik balik lesen memandu.
Anyway, I sympathize this young mother. I assume she meroyan, I don't know, maybe she is schizophrenic instead, who knows. But, I hope she will get the help she needs. My heart goes to her and her family.
