Today, my husband got me a bouquet of flowers which I only got to enjoy for a couple of hours. My son was ready to tear everything, and besides, I needed to be on an airplane. Couldn't bring it along because hands were full.

It was so sweet him of him nevertheless. I didn't expect it. He came home and hugged me from behind and said, "Surprise!" I am definitely a happy wife now :)

Just thought of sharing this because this blog is pretty depressing. I mean, I, myself would have thought that the writer is sad based on what I usually write...

I think I am a bit depressed lah...Considering how much I've cried for the past few months...Like I've said before, everything else is going on great, so I really don't have a solid reason to be upset. Which is so confusing and conflicting and difficult to understand what I am going through right now...Am I crazy? Ungrateful?

I even lost the motivation to work...I just want to stay at home, wake up late, not worry about the traffic, be comfortably pregnant...Or I need a career change. An entrepeneur. I want to bring a major franchise to Malaysia but I need a huge capital for that.

I want to rest and sleep.

If God grants the one thing that I want now, my life would've been perfect.

So, when i found out that I didn't get it, I even feel guilty for crying and being sad about it. It would've been really unfair for me to have everything, right?

Thank God for all other good things that have been happening all around me especially to those I love dearly.

Ceh, perasan betul I ni...Ok, bye...Time to shop!

There's seriously something wrong with me and handbag shopping.

Wanted a bag, did a short survey (meaning I didn't take more than 2 hours to decide), contemplating whether to wait for the winter sale, learning from previous experiences- if you want it, just buy it, no need for husband's opinion, added it to my cart, proceeded to checkout, but when I was about to pay for it: poof- sold out.

Like, seriously?

Why!!!

And it happened so many times to me! Me! And it's not like I wanted to buy something so exclusive, so limited, so luxurious...It's just a stupid white low-key tote bag, it's not even on sale, no promotion is going on...

Why, God? Do you want me to wear another handbag? Is the bag not good enough for me? Am I not good enough for the bag? Do You think I have too many bags already that I should stop buying? (No, I am not a crazy bag person, my collection is less than 10 lahhhhh)
Tell me why.

Now, how do I deal with this frustration?

One day, while I was bored being stuck in the traffic, crying on and off (I somehow cry a lot during this pregnancy), and had a conversation with myself in my head trying to console me, I told myself to concentrate on the positives and be grateful of all the things I have in my life.

So, I thought about all the good things in my life and I realized, the greatest blessing that I truly cherish is my family.

I was born and raised in a stable family. We didn't have dramas. Even though I was not close to Father, but he made sure I was well educated. We were never really poor (although, I realized this late. There were things we could not afford, but we were not poor at all). My parents trusted me and gave me a lot of freedom too. Luckily for them, I never really abused the opportunities.

Then, I met my husband, who has been wonderful so far. He always supports me. My husband is patient and a great dad. Sure, there are times when I'm mad at him for his silly mistakes, like talking to other people when he's on the phone with me, forgetting things I already reminded him of...Then, I'd act like a crazy woman and he'd be like, menerima je whatever I say or do to him...He always makes it up to me with food.

And I have a son whom I truly adore. I'm carrying another, I don't know the gender yet, but I don't mind if it's a boy or a girl, he/ she will be loved as much.

Then, I thought: I have an amazing family and nothing else really matters. As long as I have them, I don't mind losing the other things in my life. I am truly blessed. Biarlah orang tak suka dekat I, nak fitnah I ke...At least I can go home happy.

I am very grateful.

Other people would have different ideas about their greatest blessing in life. That's okay. Rezeki orang tak sama. But we all should be thankful.

What's your biggest blessings?