I...Don't know where to start.

From the moment I thought I was falling with my boyfriend, I knew we just have to get married.
Like any other bride, I dream of a beautiful wedding. One that could be called mine.

So, ever since then, I have started collecting photos of the stuff I like for my wedding.

And whenever I attend a wedding, I always think mine would be better.

But anyway, due to my procastination nature and the lack of family support (I refuse only to blame myself! Even though I am at fault *shy*), I couldn't realize most of my plans.

I am so sad and mad at myself!

My ideas have gone down the drain because...I just paid an amount of money for the deposit for...a wedding coordinator (not a wedding planner, if only I was rich, FML).

The wedding coordinator will handle my wedding from A to Z. And what I meant by A to Z, I mean, A to Z!

Why am I so crazy to let a total stranger do things for MY wedding! This is my wedding, what if she screws up? What if I don't like what she does?

I am hyperventilating, palpitating, panicking all in one.

Gah! Why am I not rich again?

If I was rich, I could have had a better job with better pay (ie: my own company) and then take my own sweet time off work, fly to Indonesia, pick the nicest dress, pays the greatest wedding planner without a single drop a sweat, order the wedding planner to do things the way I want it to be, become a bridezilla because I am the one with the moolah...

WHO SAYS MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU HAPPINESS!

I wish I can rant more about this matter, but my boyfriend is on the line and he's there to calm me down, so I will talk to him and complaint more about it later, in this blog.