At last, something refreshing: www.fashiontoast.com
I wish I would've stumbled upon the site earlier. And I want to be pretty like her!

Okay, I hate pretty ladies now just because I am not. Hmph!

And the worst part is, my things are mostly similar to what she has, just that I rarely wear them (because I'm too shy to be OTT- over the top).

That aside, I love all of her hairbands/ headgears. Whenever I want to wear something like that, my boyfriend says it's so different, people wouldn't believe what profession I go by during the day. Wah, suke hati lah, I am not that old! And I like to be different. Hmph, once more!

And the over-the-knees socks/ stockings! I love! But Mother/ Father/ boyfriend will faint if they see me in anything too short. I already received a two-hour long nagging from my dear boyfriend for wearing a skirt while hanging out with my friends the other day...

Apparently, he only approves when worn with him. Silly. Because he claims he can protect me and no hands/ eyes can go underneath. Haha.

On the other hand, www.stylecovered.com makes me wanna wear a hijab.

I'm confused. Can I choose either one according to my mood?

One thing I know- both bloggers are half Jap, half white. So not fair!



Enough girl talk.



My cat passed away a few weeks ago. What seemed like a happy family in progress (his partner just gave birth to their baby and he was a superb daddy!), ended in tragic. And that was the first time I watched keadaan nyawa nyawa ikan, my cat was gasping for air but I couldn't do anything about it.

He was sick for a long time. Since he was a baby, he had frequent visits to the vet.

And he was okay that morning. Sure, we noticed how his health was deteriorating. His body was skinny, and he was urinating so little, and he wasn't able to jump.

That night, he just laid there.

All my previous cats were either missing before we found them dead, or was hit by cars. So, that's easy goodbye.

I wasn't prepared for this. I couldn't watch him in pain, so I locked myself up in the room and cried.

I thought I didn't love him. Because I've been so heartbroken for so many times before by the death of a pet, that's why I promised myself not to get too attached to this cat. I knew I would be crushed if he was gone.

Anyway, I couldn't control my sadness and I broke down. I called my boyfriend and I sobbed. My eyes swelled up pretty badly and tears of sadness simply fell down on my face like a kid.

He couldn't walk for at least 12 hours. His breath was short and he couldn't eat.

I thought he may have had stroke or something.

This experience has totally changed my view on euthanasia.



[Definition: The act of a physician or other third party ending a patient's life in response to severe pain and suffering.

The act or practice of ending the life of an individual suffering from a terminal illness or an incurable condition, as by lethal injection or the suspension of extraordinary medical treatment.]



I used to be against enthanasia/ mercy killing as I believe, as a Muslim, we shouldn't play God.

They argue, we are actually making the death easier by administrating drugs that are lethal and death would be sudden and not prolonged. According to them, mercy killing is actually making the death less painful.

First of all, how do you know death is not painful? Have you ever experienced it? In Islam, death is the most painful thing a human can feel. I don't believe in any drug that could make it less painful.

I won't elaborate further more on this matter, but what I want to say is, after seeing my cat suffering,

I realized I was praying to God to just snatch his life away rather than letting him be miserable and in pain but alive.

Isn't that a wishful thinking for supporting mercy killing?

I am disgusted at myself.
I should've prayed like Mother thought me a very long time ago- I was about 9 or 10 years old when a distant relative was commatose in the hospital:
Dear God, if he is best alive, let him live, but if he is best dead, let him die.

After seeing my cat, I thought, maybe, just maybe, I am one for mercy killing.

:(






Speaking of cats, I've been nicknamed by colleague- Kucing.

"You are just like a kucing," he said.

"Kucing is good. I'm alright with cats. Cats are cute!" I exclaimed, thinking it was a compliment.

"No, you are like those street cats. You know, the kind which wander at the stalls, then mewing asking for food, thinking it's cute..."

Why am I like that so suddenly?!

He said, "Because you always ask for food. You eat and eat but you are not fat, I really think there cacing in your tummy!"

I explained that I know my body is not sexy and I, myself, am not happy at my body shape. I wish I had more flesh like I used to. You know, the kind that falls at the right places, my bums and my boobies...

I've always been flat. But now I am flatter than ever.

It has been the 3rd week since he has nicknamed me Kucing.

"Hoi, Kucing!" he greeted me early one morning.

I smiled back at him and said, "Meow..."

And we broke into early morning laughter. What a way to start a long day at work.






P/S:
I saw my crush coming back from work today. I straight away called my boyfriend.

"Tengah buat apa tu?" he asked.
"I tengah...Tengok budak yang I suke tu! Hehehe..."
"Oh, budak yang suka tu...Jangan tengok lama-lama tau," he requested.
"Dia balik pakai jaket la. I rasa dia pergi kerja naik motor la...Wow, I jatuh cinta! Bila you nak naik motor?"

My boyfriend laughed, "Yeke? I pun naik motor kadang-kadang!"
"I tanak you naik motor kapcai okay!" I whined.
"Siapa kata I naik motor kapcai? I naik Ducati, handsome macam Brad Pitt!"

Major perasan! If he ever had a Ducati, I'd be forcing him to send me to and fro my workplace. Gila hot tertonggek atas motor macam Megan Fox dalam Transformer 2.