Pure and naive

I once worked as a part-time waitress in a hotel to raise enough money to buy a prom dress.

That was the first time I saw Malay men drank alcohol.

As a waitress, I was required to serve these customers. I refused.
I pretended to be busy with something else so my colleagues had to do the job.

Alcohol is haram.
Serving alcohols is bersubahat.

After the event, we had to clean the banquet hall. This means, clearing the table tops and changing the tablecloths.

I avoided alcohol up the point that I only cleaned 'clean' tables. Tables with no beer spills. I didn't even touch the beer mugs.

In the changing room, I was worried if I smelled like beer.

That is how pure I was, years ago. Pure and naive.

I want to be pure but not naive.