I had a false alarm today. Been late for a week, got all excited, husband is away and he sent me a message telling that he thought this is it, tapi nampaknya, panas tak berpanjangan, hujan di tengahari. Literally, I nearly wet my pants. Luckily, I brought a spare sanitary pad. Then, I told my husband and we are both sad.

I think I tend to overimagine things. Like today, I am having a very heavy menses, which is strange because I normally have, well, normal flow. I was passing out blood clots, so, I wondered whether it was actually my baby yang tak lekat.

I know, I am getting more and more obsessed.

I am trying to relax but, hey, at least I don't rant verbally to my friends. I am still playing it cool. Speaking of friends, I have two friends who recently got miscarriages. Both were their first pregnancies. Kesian.

Sometimes, people judge others, "Oh, dia dah ada anak, tu pregnant nombor tiga," and they automatically think it's okay if they lose the babies. Or, "Dhia lagi kasihan gila, they've been trying for 5 years, lepas tu gugur pula..." Well, before you say anything further, aren't all pregnancies precious?

Enough about that.

Since I am having my period now and nearly got into an accident, hmm, wardrobe malfunction, so to speak. Don't get what I mean? I bocor lah tadi! Told you it was heavy.

I remember this one time it leaked so much, I stained my ex-boyfriend's carseat. "Sorry, I bocor. Eh, nope, I banjir!" Damn embarassing.

Anyway, what I was trying to say is...Have guys ever tried using tampons?

I used to think that I would begin to use tampons after I got married. It seems more convenient. Takkan dah tua-tua nak bocor lagi kot...Konon-kononnya I wanted to reserve for a penis to penetrate my virginity first instead of a tampon lah...

(Although, I know, a tampon doesn't make you lose your virginity. It's just the fact of something going inside me scared the hell out of me.)

So...You've tried it before? I don't know when I will be converted. Guess I am not ready yet?

Moving on to penetrative issues, I still have pain when having sex. Don't know whether it's normal or not. As long as it is tolerable, then I think it's fine lah kot. Just wait until he comes. Kalau tak, just fake something and silently manouvre yourself to a more comfortable position. Problem solved.

I just realized this is quite a funny post. Look at the chain of events! From false alarm to period to miscarriages to tampons to painful sex. Aiyo.