Thursday, February 1, 2024

I had the scare of my life yesterday. I was working, talking on the phone, and a client in front of me, when suddenly, I felt like someone is tugging on the phone that I was holding. I ignored it for the first two tugs before I got annoyed, like, can't you see I'm busy talking on the phone, how rude!

I turned myself, saw nobody behind me, but the phone kept tugging, and saw my own hand! My own hand which I did not control, nor could I feel it! It freaked me out but I had to stay calm. There was a client in front of me. I switched hand quickly, and saw my left hand on my lap. On my lap, but it didn't feel like mine. After I finished talking on the phone, I put my right hand on my left hand, but still, I could not feel anything.

The closest thing I could describe it is like I dissociated from my body. Paham tak! Like, that's my hand, but I couldn't move it, I could not feel it!

It lasted for a few minutes. After my client left, I could feel and move my left hand again. I got myself checked and burst into tears because it was so scary! Am I having. A stroke? Am I dying? My BP shot up, my heart raced. But it became normal again after I calmed myself down. Bloods came back normal.

I also did a CT scan, and hopefully that is normal too.

My colleagues and friends hope everything would be normal. They think it's some nerve thing going on, which is temporary.

I'm not trying to be a pessimist, but I know what I went through. And that was totally not normal, that was something not right. It didn't feel like it's some nerve thing. What next if the scan and the bloods are normal?

I question myself. Did I hallucinate? Is this schizophrenia? Was I possessed? Is this how paralysis feel like?

I pray that if there's something wrong with me, I'd catch it early to treat it.

3 comments:

Nani said...

I have been a long time reader of this blog. Though I do not know you personally, I hope you're okay

Anonymous said...

Is it alien hand syndrome? I hope everything is ok

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