Son will be 7 this year, daughter will be 4.

They are so different.

Child A
- likes pizza, meatballs
- more athletic. Able to balance on his 2-wheel bike at 2 years old, able to ice skate after onky second visit
- merajuk style: scream loudly, cry, throw tantrum
- pujuk style: let cool down by ownself, then you can talk
- still likes poo talk, butt talk etc
- asks for sweater after having ice water in shopping malls
- prefers berries and sour candies
- likes screentime. Wouldn't mind not buying if there's nothing to like
- sensituve skin. Hated brushing teeth. Was such a trouble beforeeee
- garang
- sensitive when watching movies/ dramas. Semalam tengok cerita Sir Alvin dekat TV3 pun boleh nangis

Child B
- asks for nasi for every single meal!
- still scared to learn riding the bike and just stood frozen on the ice
- merajuk style: isolate self and refuse eye contact and talking
- pujuk style: lots of compliments and hugs
- mature for age
- complains about the heat, only covers self when outside of the house. Otherwise, wearing underwears only
- sweettooth. Prefers chocolate flavour
- likes shopping. Asks for expensive toys
- likes showering and brushing teeth
- pleasant
- still doesn't understand storylines

----

Kids say the darnest things

My son was watching Boboiboy.
Fighting scene, dialogue: Kau ajar dia!!!
Laughed unexpectantly.
Me: Kenapa ketawa?
Son: Orang tengah lawan, nak suruh ajar pulak! *Laughs*
Me: Oh, 'ajar dia' tu maksudnye, kena fight dengan enemy!
Then me answering many questions why they are like that!
Well, 'kurang ajar' means rude, so...




Husband told kids there are ghosts on 7th floor.
Waited for lift. Lift opened. Nobody was inside. But 4th floor button was red.

Me: Oh, my God. Ada hantu ke dalam lif ni?
Son: Mana ada!
Me: Habis tu, siapa tekan 4th floor...
Son: *Hides behind me, frightened*
Daughter: Mana ada hantu! Orang yang tekanlah!

So , yeah, daughter is more realistic here.

Hello...I am in a new working place. I asked for transfer mainly because I couldn't stand my old workplace, it was too toxic for my mental health.

This new environment is waaaayyyy less busy than my previous workplace, it's almost toooo boring for me, as someone who is so used in a fast pace, highly demanding job.

But, it's okay. The benefits far outweigh the cons. We just need to settle down as a family so I can become more domisticated, ehem.

Anyway,
I have an embarassing story to tell.

I caught someone redhanded talking bad about me, behind my back- literally/ figuratively!

So, I was at my desk, so he didn't realize I was there, as I was facing the PC. Yes, it's a guy yang membawang! And this happened on my second day of working here!

It wasn't long, because I think another guy was signalling that I was in the room, and he quickly left. I could hear what he was saying, spreading rumours about meeeee...

Initially, I was embarassed, because people might believe his story. So, I scolded my husband (poor guy). But, at the end of the day, I decided- why should I be embarassed. I didn't do anything wrong. He was the one who should be embarassed and apologize to me!

And if people want to believe his story, let them be. I will prove them wrong over time. I'm not here to make friends anywayyyy...

I am already at that age when I don't care what people think about me anymore.

Initially, I was hoping not to bump into that guy ever again. But, actually, he was the one who should be avoiding me! Dia dah malu kan sebab mengumpat I? Ke memang tak tau malu?

I wish I was like this 10 years ago.

Note- teach my kids not to care so much what people think about them and be happier.

Current mood: Obsessed with Niall Horan.

Was feeling melancholic after my last post, so decided to listen to the catchy songs I used to sing. Didn't realized I knew most of One Direction songs! (I knew the songs, but didn't know the singer)

Felt like a teenager and decided to have a crush on Niall, because he's just my type. He just makes me smile, for someone way younger than me. Haha.

Explored his solo songs and discovered I enjoy his latest songs too! Been singing them without knowing the artist. It is just meant to be, he and I...

So, yeah, I'm so late to be a fan, but whatever, I love him, mmuaah!

4th day of 2020 and suddenly I'm feeling all depressed.

Depression is bad because it makes you forget about all the good things had happened and you should be grateful of.

The thing about me is- I think I can be better than I am. Like, I was once so good  at my job, it's just sad to see me ending up like this. I couldn't help but feel all those pity eyes looking at me- how could she end up like this. I had a bright future ahead of me. But other people have passed me, I'm so left behind now...

And nothing I can do about it. Because I am traumatised and I'm that person who you should not idolised, because I don't have the grit in me. I am not successful enough.

Sigh.

Anyway, on the other hand, because of all this, I have a lot more time to spend with the kids. I am always, always thankful of that. (But all other successful people also get to spend time with their kids, so I am not that special, you see. They can do it all, but not me).

Oh, well, this is my life. No complaints. It's okay. It's not that bad.

And for 2020,
I pray and wish
- to become a better Muslim
- to read more books (I've stopped reading leisurely a long, long time ago because I thought I needed to put my priorities straight. What a big mistake)
- to read Quran regularly, if possible, every day
- to understand the content of Quran. I never read the Quran translation, what a shame!
- to learn how to cook properly
- to make sure the house is complete

So, okay. That was short.

Writing is always good. It shifts your focus. Now, I am less depressed.