Saturday, January 30, 2021

Cried multiple times today, definitely more than 10 times, over a child that I don't even know of.

I knew about the viral video when he got separated from his adopted family, but I never watched the video, I didn't read the case, because I didn't want to be bias. She is afterall, her birth mother. Surely, she meant well.

Besar dah umur 7 tahun tu. Macam mana boleh mati? What kind of force did you use on him! Sedihnya berkali-kali...Sakitnya dia...

I even tried to take an afternoon nap, but I became wide awake again, because my mind was starting to dream about his story, how he was crying during the abuse. Ugh. Mainan syaitan betul.

My kids saw me crying. I kept telling them about this kid who was murdered. My son rubbed my back to calm me down. When they saw the news on TV, my daughter informed me, "Mommy, ni budak tu..."

After dinner, my daughter asked me- Mommy, are you happy?

She usually does this to ensure that I am no longer upset. Which means, she is well aware of how miserable I was this whole day...

Kalau I orang yang tak ada kena mengena ni rasa macam ni, bayangkan his family rasa macam mana...



Guys. If you are not equipped to have kids, please don't have them. Use protections! Let them be with better families. Don't have them if you are not ready. If you are not ready financially ke, emotionally ke, mentally ke, physically ke- just don't have them if you are not ready for the responsibility!

I don't want to hear the excuse- you are mentally unstable lah, apa lah...Eh, kalau dah mentally unstable tu, lagilah jangan! It's no surprise you are actually a crazy maniac, because obviously, no sane person would do something like this, kecuali kalau dah memang setan.

Sort your life first. Make sure you get help. Follow your doctor's advice. Take your medicine. Get stable. Don't skip your appointments. Just don't harm anybody, especially kids.

I am not a psychiatrist and in no way I want to disrespect people with mental issues, but please. This is why you should get help and how important mental health is. It's real, guys. So real.

Friday, January 29, 2021

Here's a short one.

While I was at work, my husband called me and asked whether I wanted to rest without the kids, whether he should let them stay longer at my in-laws, so I can have some alone time.

That was sweet.

It's the little things like this that makes me feel so blessed and grateful to have a partner like him. I pray for his happiness, may he be successful dunia akhirat.

But, I refused the offer. Because in my mind, he shouldn't do that to his parents! They are old, and they have been babysitting the kids for many hours. Let my in-laws rest, please, more importantly...

So, yeah. Apalah husband I ni, kesian dekat atok and nenek tu...

I still think it's a nice gesture, though.