I have to confess-

The only reasons why I watched Dunkirk

One: I was bored, not that many movies that attract my interest

Two: Found out Harry Styles acted in it. Like what, since when did he become a professional actor?

Hahaha...I know, I know, I am lame. I am busy with work and my family and I stopped following celebrity news a long time ago.

Anyway, I hate war movies. I find them boring. Like, Saving Private Ryan, or any other serious war movies I had watched.

Once, in University, I watched this war movie, I can't remember what it was called, but it was so boring. The only thing I remember was saying- Well, this is the first movie I that I watch with no women in it. No romance or kissing too.

I expected the same for Dunkirk. It took me 2 days to finish watching the film. The first half was boring, maybe because I was still getting used to the storyline and figuring out who's who. Like, who is French, who is British? Mind you, I watched it even without the synopsis or trailers.

So, yeah, first half of the movie was boring and I was getting sleepy. I actually contemplated whether to continue watching the second half. But because I didn't get enough of Harry, what the hell, just finish the movie. True story.

But tonight was different. I cried watching that film. Because by now, I can feel their desperation and fear, how uncertain life is, I understand how the father feels. I also noticed the soundtracks by the incredible Hans Zimmer, and how the sounds actually build up the suspense. Genius, don't you think? He consistently delivers, if not all, at least for the past 10 years or so...

And it's a film by Christopher Nolan. He's an amazing director. All of sudden, I now appreciate the director. He managed to make a war movie to be emotional and interesting, in a tasteful way too. No light comedies, no ramance, no inspiring dialogues...Yup, not much talking in this one.

In summary, I am surprised that I did enjoy it. Maybe, it's because I am older and I am now able to appreciate the little details. Like, I can see myself, 60 years in the future talking about today's war against COVID-19. If my 20 year-old self watched it, I am pretty sure she would think it's boring. I had different views and priorities then.

Just for the records

18 April 2020- my son complained that it's boring to stay at home, for the first time ever since the lockdown...

Jemu jelak. This is our life now. Who would have thought, eh?

I laughed out loud watching Inbetweeners on Netflix. Hahaha...It's immature (about average teens trying to get laid), it's gross, and they use adult language (I wouldn't even let teenagers watch this show), but it is ridiculously funny!

Only 3 seasons, 6 episodes each season. The first time I didn't laugh out loud was while watching Episode 4 Season 3, so...Yeah, another 2 episodes to go.

And...I just bought 12 tudungs, some of them in different sizes but same colours. Am I tamak, membazir or what!
But, they are pretty...

What does 'dititik' mean?

Halia dititik. Does it mean chopped finely until it looks like dot dot dot?

But that doesn't make sense because I heard 'serai dititik' too and nobody chops serai finely...Or do they?

I want to learn how to cook but I don't know what it means...

This is just like 'pecah minyak'. What the hell! But I watched Youtube, so now I roughly know what it is...I think.

Good thing about MCO-
I can tell the hairdresser why I have bad hair.

So unruly, frizzy, breaks easily, might have dandruff problems, uneven lenghth, unhealthy and it's getting too long!

If I was a teacher, I would be the garang type. I could be patient, but when I see my student is slow to pick things up, my voice would be louder and louder.

And this particular student of mine, responds better when I am strict. I am still figuring out whether he is a visual, auditory or kinestetic learner.

I worry lah. Is it wrong to worry? Is worrying about my son's ability means that I am not proud of him? Does this mean that I don't believe in his capabilities? Is it because he's a boy? Or maybe he's a late bloomer? Am I worried for nothing? I mean, he is just 7 years old.

I was angry at my son because he's slow to memorize the surah, not fast enough in Maths, has bad handwriting, piano skills have not improved yet, still bumpy when reading Iqra', not a good speller.

Sigh.

I keep comparing him to myself. Because I remember how I was when I was 7. And I hate this thought that I have- why can't you do it like I did.

You know, maybe I am just a bad parent. Me, a mother, who doesn't even know how to make her own son shine.

I've been avoiding the words 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend', when talking to my kids. I just want them to see the opposite genders as friends, it's okay to like them or not, because they are people. And if you like them, it doesn't mean you are a couple. I never tease my kids with any girls/ boys.

When we watch TV ir cartoons, I'd just say
- Oh, boy tu suka dekat girl tu...
- Dia dah kahwin dengan boy tu...

Hehe. So, my daughter has this perception that: if you kiss somebody on the mouth, it means you are married to that person.
(She'll say something like this: Nak kahwin dengan Daddy!- when she insists to kiss her dad on the lips)

Just now, I watched a funny Youtube video, and my son was asking what was it about, and why was it funny. When explaining, I said- Girlfriend dia jealous, bla bla bla.

And he understood. I guess he knew the word from the Internet.

Then he said, "Abang K tahu siapa girlfriend Daddy. Girlfriend Daddy is Mommy lah!"

Good boy.

My daughter ni pulak, when she was 3 years old, she said she had 4 friends. Amira, Athilash, Sofia and Adam.
Adam was a new kid. She never mentioned Adam before.
She said, "Baby H suka Adam. Sebab Adam handsome. Adam handsome macam Abang K."

Haha. Baby H adores her brother. Whenever she compliments someone on her looks, she'd compare them to Abang K or my husband.

Baby H is 4 this year. And for past 1 week, she has been enjoying Teen Titans.

I like Teen Titans too! It's funny.

I just think 4-year-olds shouldn't be watching Teen Titans. You are a toddler, not a teenager! Dia tengok sampai tergelak-gelak, macam faham sangat je...Faham ke?

You are important.
You are significant.
You are here for a reason.
You are here with a purpose.
You do contribute something to the society.

To all of you and us.

Responding to the people who might have been hurt by certain statements made from certain people.

People are mad, but what do they expect? She is human and make mistakes too. Nobody is perfect.

Anyway, she said she didn't say it.
We forgive and move on, okay?

When I am at work, I have high ambition. Like, if I was at home, I could cook more often, mop the floor, teach the kids...

But, when weekend comes, like today, all we did was- play. No lessons at all.

We pretended we were in the aeroplanes (my son wants to be in first class seats only, not even business class, okay, first class!), and we played police and robbers, we had a running race...Watched TV and the tablets in between and ate lots of chocolates. We didn't do any painting today, though.

I don't know whether I should feel guilty or not.

I'm guilty because I should've used the time to teach my kids Maths, or forced them to practice their piano, or read Iqra'.
But, on the other hand, some people say that playtime is when they learn too. I don't know what they get to learn when they play those games though.

But you know what I tell myself? Even if they didn't get to benefit anything from all of it, at least it did me good. We were creating memories. The ones that I would cherish when I am old. I guess, the playtime benefits me best.

1. I question the integrity of the Malaysian reporters who wrote the story of how Pornhub is now free. Perlukah cerita?

2. And I pray for those unfortunate kids who might have to live with
- ill-tempered parents
- bersempit-sempit dalam rumah kecik
- domestic violence
- sexual abuse

3. I wonder what happened to them robbers and drug addicts. Business is good as usual?

4. And I hope the addicts can finally withdraw from their addictions.

5. I am excited to see our Earth healing.

6. The animals must have been so weirded out to see less human. Can you imagine being one of the animals?
Monkeys won't be so happy though. They can't steal our food anymore. Hehe.

7. It could get boring to stay at home. But it is not too bad for me. For that, I am grateful for everything.