Was in the toilet one morning before work when my daughter called for me.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommyyyy!!!"

Sounded urgent. So I replied and opened the toilet door slightly. "Mommy dekat sini. Apa dia?"

She peeked inside to look at me sitting on the toilet bowl, "I love you. I love you, Mommy!"

Okaylah, my sweetest Baby H, pagi-pagi orang nak kencing bersiap pergi kerja pun dia nak ber love love bagai. So cute, and I feel so loved.

I've done something right. I am a great mother!

Tonight, I recall 3 great advices I received when I was working.

1. This was about 10 years ago. I was a fresh graduate and naive. I was about doing something at work. To get my client prepared, I usually said something like this- Okay, Mr A, ready, one, two, three.

One day, my client told me, "Miss Ectopy, Miss Ectopy patutnya cakap- Bismilllahirahmanirrahim, bukannya 1, 2, 3.

I think since that day, I've tried to remember that. Start with Bismillah. Besar pahala dia.

2. I attended a course, not work related, but about wasiat, hibah, etc. It was good, because it is about something I am not very familiar with.

At the end of it, it was time for Q&A.

The question from the floor went like this-
Saya ada enam orang adik-beradik.
Kakak saya tidak berkahwin dan tidak mempunyai anak.
Sebelum dia meninggal akibat sakit kanser, beliau telah menyerahkan semua harta beliau kepada saya, dan menyuruh saya menggunakan harta tersebut untuk tujuan amal kebajikan seperti menderma.
Patutkah saya beritahu adik-beradik lain pasal hal ini, dan adakah patut saya memberi sikit harta itu kepada adik-beradik saya?

One of the speakers said-
Ya, berilah sikit kepada adik-beradik. Sebab, kalau beri pada adik-beradik pun dikira jariah. In fact, sebaik-baik sedeqah adalah kepada keluarga.

So wise.

3. A client told me he had knee pain. I said to him, "Sakit sangat ke pakcik? Biasalah orang tua, sakit-sakit. Pakcik pun dah tua, dah tak buat kerja berat."

"Tak adalah sakit sangat. Memang tak buat kerja berat. Tapi tak boleh solat dengan sempurna. Kita dah tua-tua, kalau boleh, solat tu biar sempurna. Jadi, beringatlah, masa sihat tu, kena solat yang sempurna. Nanti jadi macam pakcik."

Value your health, people.

My husband commented- Bontot you makin besar.

I didn't know whether it was a compliment (because he's a booty kinda guy) or he was saying that I am gaining weight.

I knew the answer tonight when he said- I nampak kaki you besar. You should go jogging.

-___-

A few things worrying me tonight

- Obviously, the COVID-19.
- And the fact that my risk of exposure is rather high.
- And if I contract the virus, I don't want to spread it to my family.
- With this disease, you can be well one day, then die in the next few days. I am completely not prepared for death.
- I don't want anybody to die without their loved ones by their death beds or their bodies being handled by their families; without families touched and kissed them for one last goodbye.

- Famous people should be responsible of their actions.
- Like, I don't care if you are confident that you have taken all the precautions to avoid being infected while you are on holiday overseas, the least you could do is not post photos about you ignoring all of our advice to postpone your overeas trip.
- Why? Because I am sure most of your audience are these young girls, who got influenced so easily, sometimes, they don't even read the captions.
- Social resoonsibility is not even trying to suggest that vacations outside Malaysia is possible.
- There's a reason why you are called an influencer. So, please be socially resposible.

- What do I cook tomorrow?
- I don't have chillies.
- I have many vegetables left.
- I want to cook only 1 main dish.
- My kitchen is a mess.
- Some of the stuff I ordered only are not being posted yet.
- Should I fast tomorrow?

- The economy is so bad, I can feel there will be a recession after all this.
- I hope our family will survive.
- I should not be buying any designer bag this year.
- I should do my tax filing by next week.
- Not a good time for vacations overseas if we indeed go into recession :'(

- Kids will have online classes. How will I manage when I have to work and do house chores?
- My husband will be staying at home but I doubt he will help the kids with their work.

- When can I see Mother?

A quick one today...

My husband made me blush because he said I am pretty. Hihihi...

You know, I've been married for almost 9 years now, and I don't hear direct compliments from my husband anymore. Do I mind? It's not something I think about until today...

He called me while at work, because his business partner wants to find a girlfriend for his son. So, he called me, and said, "You ada kenal tak siapa- siapa yang single? Anak dia 28 tahun, baru habis buat TESL. You carikan eh? Nak yang comel-comel macam you..."

You guysssss...
My husband still thinks I am comel *blush*
And he said this in front of his partner...
Can't believe something so trivial like this can make so happy!

Hahaha...In case you didn't know, I never consider myself pretty. Maybe, okay looking. A little bit over average? *self love* But I am aware where do I stand in the hierachy. Never on top. I am quite presentable IF I want to. Otherwise, I can be very bibik looking. Comot. Plain Jane. I go to work bare faced, so, can you imagine?

But...I know I have good fashion sense. When I was in University, my friends would come to me for advice. I often guide them to pose with their best angles for better photos. I remember I was not rich, my clothes were cheap, but I somehow was always in trend.

That was more than 10 years ago.

Last week, I was talking to my friends and one them said, "I tak pandai dress up macam you."

Wahahaha! I immediately chuckled, "Wait, what? Ada orang cakap I pandai dress up? Hahaha."

I thought I've lost my fashion sense. Seriously. All I wear to work now is baju kurung. I'm so glad someone still notice my love of fashion, although, I rarely wear trendy now. I still enjoy watching fashion Youtube channels though. Watch je lah...Nak melebih- lebih pun, nak pakai pergi mana? Kan dah pakai tudung sekarang ni...

Am I superficial because I am happy when somebody compliments me on my looks? Or am I happy just because I rarely get this type of compliments, and when I do...Let me enjoy my moment lah...Let me enjoy feeling a little bit pretty. Hihihihi...

Guys, I would like to remind you, ladies love it when you guys say we are pretty. Please say it often!

I am happy and extremely grateful that my life is becoming more and more stable, less unpredictable. Although, it is boring, but I like that I can provide some sort of routine to my children. I read that kids like routine.

True. Because I remember, when I was little, my routine was going to school, then sekolah agama/ mengaji, a visit to the playground, watched TV before I went to bed. I remember how Mother always prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner and I never really did skip a meal but I was tiny.
Anyway, I didn't feel the burden even though Mother said my life was busy.

Kids are resilient. They cope.

So, for now, the only routine I've managed so far is making them eat dinner by themselves with minimal help from me, quick shower, brush their teeth and go to bed by 9.30pm. Recite some ayat hafazan before bed (I doubt this helps, but at least I am trying)

And I already feel accomplished. Haha!

I still give them screen time, guilty.
After this, I am trying to include mengaji, piano practice and a little bit of Maths.

I wish I could include outdoor activities in the routine but we now live in an apartment and there's no park within walking distance. The apartment playground is a pity.

I am tired, maybe because I am old, but I feel like I am settling down. It's so sad that I've lost so much time already. My eldest is 7 and will only be around for another 10 years, or less if he ends up in a boarding.

Oh, my God, this is not the ending I am expecting. I am gonna be alone... :(

1. Last week, I watched this Malay drama, and the dialogue went something like this

Girl A: Eh, apesal kau muntah-muntah ni? Kau tipu aku eh? Kau kata kau tak minum. Tapi ni muntah-muntah ni...

Girl B: Aku tak minum lah...Kan aku cakap, aku tak minum.

Girl A: Habis tu, kalau kau tak minum, kenapa kau macam ni? Entah- entah...Kau pregnant! Bila kau period?

2. I was quite shocked. And I am glad that my kids didn't really listen to what was said.

First of all, since when drinking alcohol has become a norm in our community? Because it was casually mentioned on TV, so I guess, it is more common than I expected?

And I remember in those days, we usually associate those who drink with the antagonists, the bad guys...(Not talking about P. Ramlee those days here)

3. Okay, so I am not that naive, I am fully aware of people drinking and sleeping around, but to popularize the behaviour on TV? Especially during these days, when we can see more school kids wearing tudung to school.
When I was small, I could count with one hand who went to school in tudung.

4. While I was giving the show critiques, I too, had an internal debate within myself.

Me vs my defence.

: Eleh, tak payah nak hipokrit, memang ramai macam tu sekarang. You pun bukan baik sangat dulu.

Defence: Okay, tapi takde lah sampai buat benda haram. Minum minum and sleeping around. And if some of us did, we did them in discrete.

: So, whatever you did before is not haram?
Not wearing tudung is not haram?
Go clubbing is not haram?
Going over the boys' house is not haram?
Inviting boys to your place is not haram?
Having a boyfriend and going on dates is not haram?
Holding hands is not haram?
Sleeping together is not haram?

Defence: We all slept in one room because we were students and it was expensive. We were only friends.

: Still...

Defence: Plus, we were overseas. We would never stay in one room if we were in Malaysia.

: Sebab takut kena raid...What if your kids did the same thing?

Defence: I would be concerned, but if they don't go overboard like I did back then, I guess it should be okay...

: (Questions own parenting skills) Hhmm...But you are judging other people...In the end, you sama je dengan orang lain. Let's face the reality.

5. I have a colleague who is known to be a player. He'll try to hit on any women, I tell ya!

So, one day, we saw him in a bazaar Ramadhan with this newbie, whom we thought was oblivious of his true colours.

My friend, S, was overly concerned and felt the need to warn this newbie.

I said, just stay out of it, because they might just go out because, you know, buka puasa, biasalah bawa your juniors explore sikit...

"Maybe, that girl dah ada boyfriend kot...Or tunang, mana tau!" Said I.

"Ectopy, kalau you dah ade boyfriend ke, tunang ke, you keluar ke dengan lelaki lain?" My friend asked.

That was the moment I realized, that my friend S was a goody two shoes.

If only she knew what my actual answers would be:
Yes, S, I would still go out with other men, especially if I consider that guy is nothing more than a boss/ colleague/ friend. Going to a Bazaar Ramadhan is not dating. I go out with my co-workers all the time.

Don't you guys do this too?

Adakah cerita ini berkaitan?
Ya, berkaitan.

Kenapa I ni bukannya baik sangat, tapi i tak dapat terima drama-drama yang openly cakap pasal minum minum ni semua?

Am I that sensitive Malay?

One of the things that I'm grateful of in my life is- I am married to a wonderful man.

He is not perfect, of course, but since the mood is here now, so I will write about all the nice things he had done for us, which obviously outweighed the numbers of times he had annoyed me.

I rarely talked about how nice he is, just because I want to avoid riak, but since I am anonymous, so why not. Haha...Does this count?
Anyway, pelik betul I ni, such a loser nak riak on behalf of suami pulak. Like, what the hell, my husband can leave me anytime! But, I guess, it's the same concept as being proud of your children, kot...

Okay, back to the main topic, the things my husband recently did that deserve the Sweetest, Most Amazing and Wonderful Husband award:

1) He's a good father who plays often with my kids.

I wonder if my dad was like that to me. I guess he was, but slowly becoming more strict as we get older. I still have hazy memories of me carrying me and him bringing me and my sister out, just the three of us.

I hope my husband continue to be loving to us and my kids will always remember how my husband treats them bagai menatang minyak yang penuh.

One of the reasons why my husband is so extra is because he is an adopted child and he always feel unloved by his biological parents. And I hope my son remembers when my husband told him, "Bila daddy dah tua nanti, Abang K pula bawa daddy naik kereta pergi masjid, okay..."

Oh, my heart was so full when he said that.

And tonight, I saw him getting out of bed, just to kiss my daughter in her sleep and admire her.
What a sweet sight... =)

Oh, and I think I had mentioned before, how he always bathed/ washed the kids and changed their diapers when he had the chance (because we were in a long distance relationship). So, whenever my husband was around, I got to do nothing. Hehehe.
In fact, he still does this.

2) Nowadays, my husband sends me to work and fetches me home. I live nearby, it's possible to walk.

Every day, when he fetches me from work, he would be rushing to catch the Jemaah prayer at the mosque. And it makes me feel bad like I'm the reason he has to drive so recklessly. He will be in a bad mood if he's late to the solat berjemaah.

So, last week, with good intentions, I told him that he didn't need to fetch me, I would walk home, besides it will be good for my fitness level.

But I guess he thought I merajuk and he didn't allow me to walk. Aiyo.
But it was sweet nonetheless.

3) His birthday is coming up and he arranged something for his celebration!
Am I a bad wife or what...Sigh...

He asked me to choose the menu. I was quite excited because the menu sounds delicious. So I asked, which restaurant is this?

And he said, "Surprise lah." What is this! It's his birthday, but he wants to surprise me instead?

Then he told me how exclusive the restaurant is, because the chef only takes orders by appointments, no walk-ins.

Wow, I am already impressed. Never been to such settings before. I always wanted to go the ones in KL, but I have nobody to go with me.

So, now, I am excited to go to this restaurant and I hope it will meet my expectations!

----

Okay, so that's three recent amazing acts by my husband. Again, I would like to remind you guys, he is not perfect.

Whenever I see him being so kind, I still remember this is why I chose him.

Kindness is important. It will always be my number 1 in my book. Kindness over intelligence and wealth. Over everything.

Daughter is going to be 4 this year and she loves her stroller. Like, she loves her stroller like it is one of her dolls/ toys, have you ever seen a kid loving her stroller like that?
She talks to her stroller.

One time, the car was too full, so we had to put the stroller on the passenger seat next to her, and she got really excited. She kissed her stroller like, three times. She sat and hugged her stoller every now and then during the journey.

So weird.

Sometimes, when we leave the house without the stroller, she would pat on the stroller, saying goodbye to it. Kisses again. When asked, she would confess her love for it, "Sayangggg stroller!"

She's also quite protective of it. Like, her brother cannot do anything funny with it, or she'll get mad. When they were little, she didn't even allow my son to sit in it. No sharing. (My son had his own stroller that we used so much too)

She's so big now, but she still requests to sit in her stroller when we go to the malls. And she naps in it really well, for hours...Sometimes if I see her too tired, I just leave her sleeping in the stroller inside of our house.

Yeah, so that's the story of my daughter and her stroller. I don't use baby carriers, I am the the stroller momma.
Probably one of the best investments ever! We use it so much...

Son will be 7 this year, daughter will be 4.

They are so different.

Child A
- likes pizza, meatballs
- more athletic. Able to balance on his 2-wheel bike at 2 years old, able to ice skate after onky second visit
- merajuk style: scream loudly, cry, throw tantrum
- pujuk style: let cool down by ownself, then you can talk
- still likes poo talk, butt talk etc
- asks for sweater after having ice water in shopping malls
- prefers berries and sour candies
- likes screentime. Wouldn't mind not buying if there's nothing to like
- sensituve skin. Hated brushing teeth. Was such a trouble beforeeee
- garang
- sensitive when watching movies/ dramas. Semalam tengok cerita Sir Alvin dekat TV3 pun boleh nangis

Child B
- asks for nasi for every single meal!
- still scared to learn riding the bike and just stood frozen on the ice
- merajuk style: isolate self and refuse eye contact and talking
- pujuk style: lots of compliments and hugs
- mature for age
- complains about the heat, only covers self when outside of the house. Otherwise, wearing underwears only
- sweettooth. Prefers chocolate flavour
- likes shopping. Asks for expensive toys
- likes showering and brushing teeth
- pleasant
- still doesn't understand storylines

----

Kids say the darnest things

My son was watching Boboiboy.
Fighting scene, dialogue: Kau ajar dia!!!
Laughed unexpectantly.
Me: Kenapa ketawa?
Son: Orang tengah lawan, nak suruh ajar pulak! *Laughs*
Me: Oh, 'ajar dia' tu maksudnye, kena fight dengan enemy!
Then me answering many questions why they are like that!
Well, 'kurang ajar' means rude, so...




Husband told kids there are ghosts on 7th floor.
Waited for lift. Lift opened. Nobody was inside. But 4th floor button was red.

Me: Oh, my God. Ada hantu ke dalam lif ni?
Son: Mana ada!
Me: Habis tu, siapa tekan 4th floor...
Son: *Hides behind me, frightened*
Daughter: Mana ada hantu! Orang yang tekanlah!

So , yeah, daughter is more realistic here.