Quick update 2.

Eh, apa ni sekarang trend buat bun besar-besar untuk tudung ni? Siap ada giant scrunchie semua?

I know it's pretty, but I remember when I was in primary school, Ustadz had warned me, can't remember exactly the hadis, but along the line, "Kepala wanita seperti bonggol-bonggol unta."

You cannot do that on purpose lah! What more if you fake your bonggol with them scrunchies!

Am I the only one who feels this is wrong? Because so far, I haven't encountered anyone who made a comment about this matter.

Anyway, just in case you didn't know...Yep, cantik biasa-biasa cukup lah...Tak payah luar biasa sangat...


Quick update 3

Found out my stupid ex-maid is now working in Komtar, JB, using a different name.

What would you do?

Eee...Bongok sangat. I'm so upset that I don't want anything to do with her anymore.
But some have advised me to confront her and tuntut ganti rugi. She did take a lot of our stuff...

I want to serahkan pada pihak polis, but every one knows that it's going nowhere.

Hish. Bongoklah dia tu! I hate her and has wished many bad things to happen to her. Even though I know it's better to wish on good things to happen to me instead (because doa orang yang teraniaya adalah makbul), I just couldn't help myself lah, okay!
I'm only human...

Quick update!

So, I admit that I stalk people on Instagram and Facebook. But at least I don't discuss about them openly with my friends...Well, maybe about once a month and usually lasts for 5 minutes only. Ain't no saint here.

Anyway, this person mentioned about a scammer on her Instagram and I decided to Google about the scammer. What I stumbled upon was pages and pages about this person (not the scammer). Just wow...!

First of all, I'm amazed by the number of people talking about her. Basically just bashing her appearance, fashion sense, and petty petty things, in fact, almost every thing about her. And I'm sure most of these people don't know her personally (like me) but how come they hate her so much?! The things that they said were very mean!

Secondly, this person is not a celebrity, not a TV/ radio personality, she's just someone who is famous during her blogging days. She didn't even do anything controversial recently, but people keep talking about her.

This reflects on me lah, okay. I mean, I don't look down at her, but I used to think, "Wow, sexy nya minah ni sekarang!"
But tonight, I am reminded of how fortunate she is in some ways.

Ustazah-ustazah for surely say things like, "Tutuplah aurat, kembalilah ke pangkal jalan, bla bla bla," but tonight, I realized, every day, this girl senang-senang je dapat free pahala from all the people who mengumpat her. Banyak sangat tau!

Korang ni kutuk-kutuk dia, tapi mana tau, masa dekat Akhirat nanti, dia yang dapat masuk syurga hasil kutipan pahala free. Maybe ini just ujian untuk dia?

My maid ran away. This isn't the first time my helper left, we don't mind so much about her leaving, in fact. But, this time, she stole our things, estimated RM10k worth of valuables.

*Sigh*

She took my daughter's gold necklaces, my ring, the kids' duit raya and my other phone.

Jahat, kan?
It's like, she was here with us for more than a year, just to eye on the things she stole.

Yang paling sedih, my phone...

You see...I don't think I'm pretty. Therefore, I don't enjoy taking pictures of myself. Plus, my husband and I are in a long distance relationship. So, mostly I take pictures of my kids. Or with me, without my tudung.
This is why I didn't use Instagram.
I didn't need to.

I feel like crying writing this.

I know, I know...They are just pictures. But my kids are growing up and I will never see them small again. And she took my phone and all their pictures and I don't have any backup whatsoever.

This is my first time crying about this.

I let my kids use iPads. I'm a bad mother, I know. But, whenever they are playing, I would put my phone down and play with them too. I don't use my phone to take their photos while they are playing.

Reason being, I want to be a present mother. I want to lead by example. I want to give them all my attention. And I've had them telling me, "Mommy, letak phone tu," and "Mommy tak boleh tengok phone!"

For example, yesterday, we played with the water guns and I let them shoot me until I was soaked wet. I was Mario (from Super Mario) and my son was the villain who was trying to kidnap the princess (my daughter).
We had so much fun.
However, I didn't bring my phone.

So, do you understand how few pictures I have of them, especially when they were smaller?

I always tell myself, the most important things are memories.
We don't usually remember what exactly happened, but we always remember how we feel at a particular time or place, with a particular person.
Now, I can eat my own words because memories are better with pictures!

The reason I was so cool about this (initially) is I tried to stay calm, patient and see the brighter side of it. Redha.
Tapi, saya insan lemah.
I am now upset.

My problem is actually petty if I compare myself with other people.
I shall be thankful instead.
At least my maid didn't physically hurt my kids, right?

Eeee...I don't to waste my energy and time on my stupid maid lah!

Allah akan gantikan dengan yang lebih baik, InsyaAllah.

So...I was upset today. Mainly because I had many things to do at work, plus, I was in charge of the department jamuan Hari Raya, which means extra work with no extra pay...

I was supposed to finish early to join the set-up team, but I just couldn't leave, it didn't feel right. But, at the same time, other people who are not in the committee left early and started the ceremony. By the time I arrived, they were already eating!

I repeatedly told myself to just let it go, or my pahala ikhlas will be gone (I think they are already gone by now :( )

Anyway, it was obvious I was in a foul mood, I finished my meal and left without socializing. They realized I wasn't there when they wanted to take pictures, but I just needed some time for myself.

Because I was upset, I started to scold my husband because we haven't seen each other for 3 weeks. I only sent 3 sentences. He didn't reply me because I think he knew I was mad.

I was getting ready to go back, when I realized, I had misplaced my carkey. I searched for it for almost an hour, went to multiple locations, ransacked my bag for at least 4 times and finally contemplating to go hail a Grab Car when I saw a missed call from my husband.

Turned out he had arrived home with my kids. I told him to come and get me. I sat in the surau, again, emptying my bag, then, I found my key!

Rupa-rupanya bag I koyak and dia termasuk dalam lining of the bag. Haish...Walked 7400 steps today, okay!

Maybe it was a punishment from God. For being mad at my husband. And when I talked to him, terus jumpa kunci tu...

So, that's the story of today, how God loves me and is watching over me and sending me messages. How can I not believe in Him and in everything He has planned for me...I wish I was a better person.

How was your Raya?
I got to spend it with my husband and children for 5 days! Without my helper, without our moms, and my kids really enjoyed it because we let them stay up and play all day...

This Raya, I am reminded why I fell in love with husban. I can see why my jodoh is with him. His side keeps my children and I grounded. Teach us how to behave and appreciate the things that we have. Alhamdulillah.

For example, I was quite restless because we didn't have a proper family picture. I was seeing Facebook and Instagram and saw all those pretty, happy pictures, and felt pressured to keep up. I didn't want my friends to think my marriage was in trouble!

But, my husband brought us to visit his relatives and friends. Mostly the elders in the family.

One of his aunts suffers from diabetes and going to be blind due to cataracts. It's a simple procedure, but she didn't have money for the lens. Oh, my, why didn't you tell earlier? - my husband asked. She's living all by herself, how can she function if she cannot see.

Anyway, that's settled. And suddenly, I don't mind anymore if we didn't have a proper family picture.

----

I am mostly known for my career in his family. It's quite embarassing though. They would usually introduce me like- this is Abang's wife, she works in bla bla bla.

It makes me wonder what if one day, I wanted to quit. Imagine me like: (Sheepishly smiles) No, no, no...I don't work anymore...

Surely, there will be a lot of questions...That I don't want to answer...Because I am just tired of working??? Is that even acceptable?
Because people quit their jobs to take care of the family, usually when their children are young, or if they have many children.

I only have 2, and they are no longer babies, and my husband is not a millionaire (yet, hehehe), so, really, I don't have any reasons to stay at home...I do envy you guys who do and can be! Sigh...

Anyway, this has become about me wanting to be a housewife. Haha. The other day, I had a dream that I changed my career and it didn't go well for me. Now, it's just haunting me. Like, I don't want to make a major mistake.

I was supposed to write about my Raya and there's a lot of stories. But I think this post will do for now. Byeee!

So many things to tell you guys...Some of the stories dah backdated dah, but, whatever...I'll start with the most recent ones

- We were shopping for the kids' baju raya in KLCC. It was very quick. My husband then went to Oakley to fix his sunglasses, and left me wandering with my son who was sleeping in the stroller. Yes, he's almost 5 and still uses the stroller. My daughter didn't follow because she was napping at home.

I randomly went inside a shop to try glasses. Saje je...Making small conversation with the salesman...Then my husband arrived, and he layan-ed me trying on the sunglasses.

Him: You nak ke? Kalau you nak, ambillah.
Me: Memanglah cantik...Tak apalah. I nak yang reflective lenses. Yang ini hitam. I dah ada hitam. Lagipun 20% discount je.

Talked, talked, talked.

Him: Betul you taknak?
Me: Nak beli ke?
Him: Ambil je lah kalau suka.

My husband is the type yang...if you like it, just buy it.

So, don't be stupid. Use the opportunity when your husband is already offering! Haha!

This is me today.

And I sent the picture to my husband.

Me: Cantik. Ingat nak pakai today, tapi hujan. Thank you for the early birthday present! Ke birthday present I lain? Haha...

Him: Hahaha...Birthday present you is the road tax. I dah bayarkan...

Me: Okaylah...Tak romantic betul bagi road tax as birthday present. Nasib baik I sayang you!

Nevertheless, Alhamdulillah...

- Suddenly, I have a thing for the Kelly bag. But I would still say No even if my husband wanted to gift me. I'm trying to make myself like Hamano now. Haha...

- I've been meaning to write about Queen for quite some time now, perhaps almost a year already. Suddenly, I heard there will be a movie about them. Terus tak jadi tulis. I don't want to be that girl that became a fan just because of a movie/ documentary. I am genuine, people!

Anyway, I still think I prefer British music than the American. Coldplay is also a great band, right! Love them!

- I didn't go for KRU concert. When I almost bought the ticket, I browsed the Youtube and found out that, I only love the songs from their earlier albums. Some, I didn't ever heard before. So, that was the dealbreaker and I'm not regretting it.

- Somehow, I ended up in Cari forum and learned a few abbreviations such as
BBNU- budak baru nak up
MBNU- mak baru nak up
Anak ORKA- orang kaya
And they use all sorts of nicknames for celebrities/ instafamous people.

Wow. This is like the time when I just found out what was PJJ almost 10 years ago.
Me: PJJ tu apa?
Staff: Perhubungan jarak jauh.
Me: (There's a term for LDR in Malay!?) Ohhh...LDR...
Staff: LDR tu apa?
Me: Long distance relationship.

- And a few months ago, I was browsing IG and came across Azah Aziz the ex- actress who married the Canadian guy.

I used to love her. I remember, even as a child, I always thought she was pretty, has really good teeth, even though she was not fair.

I grew up thinking I wasn't fair, so to have a dark, pretty heroine gave me hope. (In the end, I found out I was actually quite fair. I used to buy dark coloured make up because I really thought I was not fair! True story! I also thought I wasn't slim, and I used to buy a lot of M size which didn't fit me well)

Anyway, I loved Cinta Antara Benua and Cinta Korporat, both made me wanna go study and live abroad and have my own version of love story- didn't happen, no love story except that I met my husband there...

Now, I'm determined to re-watch the series as soon as i have free time. Saja, nak menggamit kenangan lalu...Berangan sungguh! Haha!

I've got somebody calling me from the UK for 2 days in a row but I'm scared to pick up the phone. Haha. Boleh ke takut dengan phone call? I'm pretty sure it's not somebody I know, because, well, they can Whatsapp me instead, right? Tried googling, but nothing came up.
So, any of you know whether this is a scam or something?

And, I have another question.

Anyone of you have extra tickets to go to KRU concert at Istana Budaya in May? Tickets to let go? I'm willing to pay RM500 max...

You see, I was excited to go but none of my friends did! So uncool, right? But they think I'm the uncool one. *Rolls eyes*

The replies I got

- I didn't know you're a big fan...
Well, I'm not. But it's one of the local bands that had caught my attention and I can sing along with! I don't want to go to a concert where I don't know the lyrics...

- I'm saving for Perhentian trip

- I'm already going to see Bruno Mars

- I'm working that weekend because I want to avoid working during Ramadhan

- I'll be busy with the election's coming up

You see, when I was overseas, whenever I missed Malaysia, I would listen to KRU. My favourite is Apa Saja because I think it is so romantic.
I also like Flop Poppy.
I listened to other songs too, but they are usually a one-hit-wonder.
And I already missed Sheila Majid's performance before!

And our gang usually would find a reason to go to Istana Budaya whenever we're back in Malaysia. Because we liked to dress up and pretend we were posh. Haha!
And...It was not so hard to secure a ticket back then. Plus, it was not that expensive too.

Anyway, KRU is so for 90s kids! And it's going to be in Istana Budaya, where it's not gonna be hot and sweaty! But I failed to convince everybody!

My husband had the best reply:

Him: But KRU ni macam budak-budak lah...
Me: What!!! They are my abang-abang!

So, I knew he wasn't interested and no way I am going alone like a freak!
Then, I gave up.

But, my super sweet husband asked me last weekend,

Him: You pergi ke konsert KRU?
Me: Tak...Semua kawan I tak nak pergi...
Him: Bila tu? You nak pergi kan...You belilah. I temankan.
Me: *Mata bersinar-sinar* Yeay!
Him: Tapi, kesian lah budak berdua ni...
Me: Ala, tinggal je lah! 3 jam je pun...(Susahnya nak tinggal anak. Perhaps I should write a separate entry on my theory why he is the way he is)

Checked for tickets- all that's left is the really expensive ones.

Me: Ala...Dah sold out...
Him: Wow, KRU pun sold out?
Me: Ye lah...Ramai orang suka KRU okay...Tinggal tiket mahal je...RM1300...
Him: Kalau tengok Mariah Carey, I sanggup.
Me: Ala...I hafal tau lagu dia...*Disappointed*

Him: Kalau Saleem buat concert, I nak tengok. I suka suara dia.
Me: Saleem?
Him: Ala, yang drug addict tu. Walaupun dia drug addict, suara dia sedap. I sanggup bayar.
Me: Buat apa you bayar dia! Dia drug addict. Nanti, dia beli dadah!
Him: Dia dah tua dah...Takkan tak insaf insaf lagi...

Anyway,
Hahaha...My husband and I from totally different worlds...
Saleem? He likes Saleem! And Amy Search. And Awie.
Euw. Hahahaha...

I remember one time when we were shopping, he saw Amy Search and asked for a picture together. Hahahaha...

I have a picture with Jason Mraz and I don't think my husband knows him.

I searched on Carousell too, but they are all reserved. I'm so saddddd!!!

Okay. So, yeah, I'm scouting for a pair of tickets. Please email me if you have! I'm willing to risk my anonymonity to get them.

I am gaining weight- not a good sign.

I don't mind if I was in my early 20s, even though I was heavier, but I was not flabby. I was montok.
Now, gaining weight just means that I am not fit.

I stopped breatfeeding a few months ago. As expected, my body is suddenly so sensitive with the amount of food that I take. Previously, I was hungry and ate and I would still be 49-50kg.
Not anymore.

If I don't control my weight now, I'm pretty sure, soon, I will not fit into my zold clothes anymore. They are already tight now!

I know I need to control my appetite. But, you know lah, food nowadays, they purposely give you a bigger portion so you just have to pay more and they can make easy profits.

So cunning right? End up I'd feel guilty for spending and not finishing...

Anyway, when I see people praising new mothers who get back in shape, I'll be like- hey, I do too! It is not that hard...
Haha...Berlagak kan...
I mean, you can see all over Instagram, all these mothers rupa macam anak dara.
At least, I'm not that pretty.
I mean, those people, dahlah slim, cantik pula tu, pandai dressing, siap ada masa nak mekap mekap, lepas tu, pandai posing ambil gambar! So not fair!

Sometimes, I tell myself, I can be like that too if I were that rich, or if I were a housewife.
But, noooo...

Did I ever tell you about the time when I was so depressed, I stayed home for about one month? I was really not in the mood to go out at all, I avoided people and just be with my kids.

When they napped, I did too...I basically didn't need to move around so much...I was in ny PJs the whole day...

Yeah, so I was comot and gaining weight.

See, staying at home made ME, not everyone, but ME, lazy.

So, that pretty much made me realize, I can't even make myself beautiful even if I stayed home.
So pathetic. Haha.

At least my husband thinks I am beautiful. I hope.

I dreamt that somebody had a crush on me and flirted with me. Haha.

I told him I have 2 kids and am happily married.

I wanted to tell my husband- Ada orang mengorat I!

But I wrongly sent the text message in the office whatsapp group and got majorly embarassed.

I woke up feeling pleasant, haha, what a funny dream!

However, I pray to God that our loyalty and love towards each other will never get challenged or compromised.

It's scary, especially when you hear a lot of stories of unfaithfulness nowadays.

Actually, I am writing this to tell you that...
I am no longer a facial spa virgin! Yeay!

So, after work, my friend sort of forced me to follow her...

I never really asked her about her facial treatment, except that I told her I never had one, and she got married recently, so she is all into this beauty thing...

What I learned/ not learned

- I don't know why we need to strip down when the beautician only concentrates on the face, neck and shoulder areas

- I got really bad review about my skin. Luckily, I am older now, so no hard feelings

- I finally found out the type of skin I have! Dry skin!

- sakit lah time dia picit picit tu! But so good...Because you don't have to do it yourself. It can be quite tiring, especially if you have skin like mine.
And my face didn't turn red. How did she do it!

- I like the eye massage because I instantly could see the difference

- my friend excitedly told me that the beautician can do my eyebrows too. I'm like, "No, it's fine, maybe next time..."
And she said, "Okay, I trim saja lorh..."

Me- frozen.
The first time anybody touched my eyebrows was on the day I got married. I didn't know how to say No at that time. I pray God wil forgive me and promised I won't do it again.
Then, yesterday, somebody trimmed my eyebrows

- now I understand why some celebrities become prettier and fairer, and why some look so timeless...
The amount of time and money they spend to maintain the youthful looks...

----

So, would I do it again? Yes. But maybe at a different place. Just because of the eyebrow incident. Perhaps I should try the normal Muslim facial spa next.