My parents have always said us, the siblings, have nothing in common. This is quite true.

One is reserved, another is outgoing, one is sensitive, one likes to travel, another prefers only beach vacations, one is gamer who is rather spends his free time at the comfort of his own home, and the list goes on.

I don't know what Mother did during each pregnancy which makes us so different from each other!

So, I've been getting help from this Indonesian lady. She is an illegal immigrant, stays quite near to Mother's house and previously, Mother had used her husband's labour to wash the car or mow the lawn, doing odd jobs like that.

Since we are desperate, we wanted her to help Mother to take care of my son. Easy! Come at 9am until 5pm, 5 days a week, lunch is provided, she only has access to the ground floor (we don't trust her to go upstairs), probably, sweep the floor, mop every other day, kupas bawang, siang ikan, siram pokok bunga, sidai baju and things like that. My son totally refuses her, so, her job scope is mainly confined to house chores je lah. Tak penat pun...She even gets her own room in case she wants to rest a bit and she doesn't have to cook. I am paying her weekly. If I were her, I would be happy! It's flexible, you still can work elsewhere over the weekend and at night, no rules like no mobile phone or no outings, and it's not tiring.

Thing is, she likes to ask money in advance! My mom would give her extra RM10 a week, and she takes a lot of leaves. She would text Mother that she is sick so she won't come to work, most of the time, she comes like 4 days a week.

Last week, after she left, she returned to Mother's house sobbing, saying she wanted money because her husband hit her. According to her, her husband is a gambler and he hit her all the time.

I, mestilah kesian dengar cerita tu. I pun ikhlas lah nak provide her the job. Tapi at the same time, agak menyusahkan because she is no committed. Due to this sad story of her, I feel bad to find a replacement because nanti dia tak ada kerja, how? I also don't mind so much giving her extra. Because I could afford it, and niat sedekah and tolong orang susah. Lebih lebih lagi nak puasa ni.

My brother, on the other hand, thinks she is lying. He wants us to get another helper because this lady comes with too much baggage. He is a pessimist, so he scares Mother, "What if the husband comes with a parang?"

His points are valid too.
I, too, sometimes, doubt this lady but I tolak jauh jauh sebab nak bersangka baik punya pasal.

My brother pulak, he said, "Jangan masuk campur rumah tangga orang." Memanglah taknak masuk campur rumah tangga orang, tapi takkan nak simply close one eye? What if it happens to your daughter? I don't want to be that headline in the news, "Kanak-kanak maut didera." Then, people would ask, neighbour dia tak buat apa apa ke? Same case like this lah, if we were to decide not to get involved, we are simply irresponsible and selfish. That's my argument.

However, I can see what my brother is standing up for. He is worried of our children's safety. He doesn't want this helper to pijak kepala. Later, the husband finds out it is easy to get money from us using adegan air mata, and it will become a habit. And we don't even know whether she's telli g the truth.

Mother pulak, kejap she sides on me, kejap she sides on my brother. Pastu last last dia kata, "You guys are so different!" Then, she cannot decide.

What say you?

Arrived sooo late to work today, I am so embarassed, taktau mana nak letak muka. I sesat okay! I tried to use another route to skip the unusually heavy traffic but my plan backfired.

My boss didn't say anything but I know she is unhappy. I did not want to come to work late, I wanted to take an emergency leave, but my colleague wanted me to come because we are short of people today.

So, I came, apologized, lost for words and did my work. But I felt so bad and not in the mood of doing anything. Sigh.

Mulalah datang bisikan bisikan...
Siapa suruh pindah! Dah elok elok kerja tempat dekat, gatal pergi pindah.

Such a depressing day.

Then, I wanted to book an appointment for my first ever facial treatment in my whole life, but my credit card is with my husband, so how can I redeem my Maybank birthday gift! (Cheapskate, don't want to pay)

And it was our third year anniversary but I completely forgot about it. My husband actually flew down to see me but he said he had a meeting. I pun buat biase je lah. I didn't realize until it was 3pm but he was already back on the plane.

Teruknye I ni!!!

My resolution is to plan for something special for our next anniversary. Dah 3 tahun miss.

Maybe I should start booking for a vacation for next year, like, hmm, now!

To make up for the lack of posts for the last couple of months...

This time I want to tell you about my husband's good friend.

He used to go to school with my husband, then he moved to KL and become a government servant. He is married and has 4 children.

Previously, he had a living brother but he died (can't remember why) so he became the only child of his family.

Since he lives in KL, he always asks my husband to tengok-tengokkan his parents di kampung, which my husband does regularly. Petang-petang, when my husband is not bringing my son to the playground, sometimes he would bring him to see his friend's parents.

Of late, my husband's friend's mother's health deteriorated and she was in and out of the hospital. This guy, being a government servant with limited number of leaves, with his school-going children, can't simply take off from his work. So, he would ask my husband to uruskan his mother's hospitalizations whenever he couldn't be there.

And, he's not a rich a guy, so he has to travel by car if he wanted to come back to his kampung, which can be quite taxing with his 4 small children and all.

Subsequently, his mother passed away.

-----

Sometimes, I use my husband's phone when mine is charging. Saje je lah, kalau the TV is boring...So, I amik peluang baca my husband's message.

He sent my husband a message, nak gadai rantai emas for RM500...He said he is embarassed because he has asked a lot of favours and loans from my husband.

Masa I baca tu, I rasa sedih sangat. To some people, RM500 is nothing. But this guy, he doesn't even have RM500. His wife sells karipap, and he also sells stuff on ebay to make extra income.

Kalau I, I bagi je duit tu, tak payah bayar balik pun tak apa kalau belum ada duit. Because I know, this guy is baik and he needs the money. Bukan dia buat berfoya-foya pun dengan duit tu.

Unlike my husband's other 'friends' yang pinjam ribu ribu, pastu buat tak tau je...Tu I marahlah, sebab bongok bagi pinjam kan...

This humbles me a lot. Kadang-kadang, kita rasa susah, tapi orang lain lagi susah daripada kita.

Kadang-kadang, kita tak perasan orang yang susah tu adalah orang yang rapat dengan kita.
And it's always more afdhal to help those closer to us.
Sedih tau because it's somebody yang kita kenal.

Oleh itu, I doa semoga keluarga dia akan mendapat rezeki yang baik, anak-anak dia belajar pandai supaya dapat tolong keluarga satu hari nanti.

I have cooled down a bit after staring at my beautiful sleeping baby. So, tonight's post is dedicated to my son, Baby K.

The best motherly quote that I absolutely adore is something like this:
God makes babies in heaven and they live with their angels. Then, God would send them to Earth to be born. The babies are worried, "Who would take care of us? Who would play with us? We won't be seeing the angels anymore..." God says, "There will be angels waiting for you on Earth. The angels are your Mothers."

Aww...I am my baby's angel... :)

But I can't understand people who would harm a child lah! How could they! Tak kesian ke haaa!

Anyway, back to my baby...

He's currently 9 going to be 10 months old. He only started crawling at about 8 months old, which got me a little bit worried at first.

My son is so young but he takes up so much space. Whenever I pack for us, his stuff would be more than mine, my handbag is no longer mine, more like his, since inside are his items. When he sleeps, I have to squeeze (because his dad wouldn't), it's funny. Haha.

And not to mention his size. I love his body. Chubby and tall, like a handsome, young man. Muka tu dah kurang baby, rambut je baby lagi ie: botak.

His toothless (still) smile lights up my entire world. He can be demanding and can express his emotions better, it's exciting figuring out what he wants. He is extra clingy with his daddy. The sight of my husband can make him stop whatever he is doing at that time just to be with his daddy. Even when daddy passes by the living room to go to the bedroom, he would cry for attention wanting to follow. Daddy's boy sangat!

Baby K doesn't care about me so much. I am the less fun parents. I don't bring him to the playground (daddy's job), I don't bath him or change his diapers (daddy's job)...He only searches for me when he is sleepy or hungry, hehehe.

But I don't really mind. I am proud he has that special bond with his daddy. On the other hand, that's one of the reasons why I must continue to give him my boobies, he wouldn't care for me if I can be subtituted!

I know I should teach him to sleep on his own, don't pamper him too much, instill discipline as early as possible, teach him ABC and 123...But, Baby K is just a baby, he is my baby, and I always make excuses for him, let him be a baby, there are years more to come to scold him, "No!" --> I hope I don't regret this soon!

I may not be the mother I wanted to be. I let my baby eat food with sugar and salt (I can't control this when I am at work, especially when he's being fed  by his grandparents), I let my baby eat preservatives, from Heinz food and processed food. I don't always cook for him but I am the best I can be, or at least I try the best that I could.

My baby deserves a perfect life. It's so heart breaking when I have to separate him from his daddy. It's all because Mommy wants to learn and work and learn and work...

Soon, there will be no more sloppy kisses from Daddy on a daily basis. Although my husband has given me his blessings for taking this route, although there are a lot other couples who survive LDR, I couldn't help but feels like a damn selfish human being.

We could've it easy but I would not settle. I hope God will ease our quests and soon, we will be reunited again, because we deserve it. Amen.

1) I spent a lot of money participating in different SMS contests from 5 different magazines. I hope I would win at least one. Hehehe...It's fun.

2) I am fed up. I am fed up with the vaccination issue, demanding for female doctors issue, Dayana and her manifesto, Cadbury and pig DNA...Seriously, the responses from some of you people really embarass me lah! Stop embarassing me, stop embarassing my religion, my race, stop insulting our intellectuality.

I selalu rasa macam nak dissect the issue satu per satu, but I always feel like I am an unfit person to do so, since I am not an expert in those matters. Karang takut salah cakap pulak...

And I always feel some of the issues are really one-sided. Like, for example, they demand for female doctors, but nobody demand for male doctors, or male nurses.

Hu ha about the Cadbury chocolates, but never said anything about the smokers who do it in public, even when fatwa deems it haram.

Lepas tu nak buat pemindahan darah lah, apa lah, eh cakap macam takde otak sangat tau! Macam tak belajar agama langsung tapi nak masuk TV.

Pastu, ada orang samakan vaccination tu macam makan babi juga.

I malu tau, walaupun orang tak cakap depan muka I, tapi I malu bila orang tak respect orang Melayu Islam sebab kenyataan kenyataan bodoh macam ni.

Ataupun I je yang perasan bila kaum lain semua rasa orang Melayu Islam ni masyarakat yang mundur dari segala aspek. Bila orang suruh menimba pengalaman, luaskan pandangan, berapa ramai yang sanggup terima seruan tu? Terlalu selesa sangat di tempat sendiri. Pastu mulalah tak dapat terima idea baru dan melenting.

Geram tau, tapi taknak cakap banyak banyak sangat...

3) Kena rogol dengan 38 orang lelaki? Budak didera sampai mati? Orang gaji lari tak habis habis menyusahkan orang? Arrgghhh...! Apparently, I am still mad at the world! Nantilah sambung balik.

ayat cover line

Lisa: Bos Rokiah tu asyik tersilap panggil aku Minah je...Dia confuse kot. Dia tu sebenarnya kenal aku ke tidak? Sikit-sikit Minah. Aku Lisa lah, bukan Minah!

Minah: Haa? Dia panggil kau Minah? Macam mana boleh silap nama pulak? Aku gemok jugak ke?

Awkward silence.

Minah: Heee...Oops...Eh, taklah, maksudnya Lisa kuruslah...Macam aku...Sebab tu Bos Rokiah tak dapat bezakan...Betul tak?

Errr...I would have died embarassed if I utter those words to my colleague.

I hope I will never offend someone intentionally, especially on physical appearance.

As usual, I have been busy.

But here's something short and rather important!

My husband has a horrible singing voice. Despite that, he has the confidence to sing in front of complete strangers. Well, one time, my department had an outing, so I brought my husband along. Dengan muka tak malu, my husband sang and sang the karaoke...Well, I give him credit for being such a good sport though. But, still, a terrible singer, no doubt about that.

Today was the second time he sang to our son in the car. And again, our son mencebik bibir, his smile turned upside down and he looked like he was on the verge to burst out tears, just like the last time he sang to him (we initially thought my son was simply in a foul mood). My husband stopped. Then, he sang again, and my son gave similar reaction. With that, it was confirmed, this is no coincidence, my son really hates my husband's singing, which means, not only my husband is a terrible singer, he might even be a scary one!

Haha!

OMG, how can that not be funny! We laughed and laughed, and my husband repeatedly sang to my son and he frowned every single time.

Worst singer ever!

Husbad: I rase, baby ingat I marah dia kot...
Me: Suara you betul betul buat dia takut.

I am having flu, caught from my son, who caught it from my husband's daughter.

I expected it resolve within 3 days, but it's already day five today and his nose is still runny. Kesian dia...

Speaking of kesian, I was meeting a client when he revealed that his son is specialist doctor.

My staff overheard our conversation,

Staff: Anak dia doktor pakar dekat mana?
Me: Dekat Putrajaya. Hebat kan? Pakcik tu dulu ambulance driver je.
Staff: Oh, ye ke? Maksudnya, dia berduit juga lah sebab dapat hantar anak dia belajar tinggi. Maksudnya, driver ambulance ni banyak gaji juga lah...

Well, it never really struck me that it costs so much to send your children to study.

Me, for example, went to school with only 30 cents a day until I was in Standard Three. Then, I received an increment of 20 cents until I was 12 years old. Mind you, when I was in Standard 4, there was a girl in my school whose parents gave her RM5 per day for pocket money! Big difference, mine was only 10% of her daily income...

Then, my parents gave me RM1 per day for secondary school. Then, I enrolled into a boarding school. Then, I had conditional free education for my tertiery studies.

So, in a way, I never felt that I am a burden for my parents lah...Same goes to my siblings. Kitorang pakai duit sikit gile kot!!!

Colleague: Minggu lepas, jiran aku datang rumah, nak pinjam duit. Kitorang tak bagi. Lepas tu, semalam dia datang lagi bawa emas. Nak gadai. Nak duit sebab anak dia nak masuk university.
Me and my other colleagues: Ya Allah, kesian nya...
Colleague 2: Masa aku sekolah pun sama. Ada kawan aku ni, mak dia kena gadai emas sebab tak ada duit nak bayar yuran sekolah.

Sigh. Bila dengar cerita-cerita macam ni, rasa kesian sangat and rasa macam bersalah nak enjoy life when knowing there are people struggling.

In boarding school, I was kinda culture-shocked. I got to know friends who never stayed in a hotel, or friends who thought eating KFC was luxurious. I remember, a friend who could not afford to go to a school trip. It was only RM30. But she said, her parents didn't have money, she had many siblings that needed the money more than her. My other friend felt bad and paid for her instead.

I forgot about all these until that day when I had the conversation with my staff. To her, you need money in order for your children to further your studies.

This is exactly how my husband is thinking.

As I have mentioned before, my husband came from a very humble family. His family didn't care so much about education. His family is content- one house, one toilet, one motorcycle, one job, enough food on the table...That's all. They don't care about going for holidays, or investments, or if you've finished your homework, or things like that, if you get what I mean. It is the complete total opposite from my family, I really don't know how I end up with my husband lah, no wonder Father was very concerned! Hahaha...!

Anyway, because my husband came from this family, he had to work harder than anyone else to be at where he is now. This means, when he wanted to go to university, he was the one who scouted for the forms and he filled them up and he did them all by himself. When his brothers finished school, he was the one who pushed them to go here and there, because his parents memang orang kampung, they don't know what to do.

I mean, I can imagine how hard it was for him, because from what I remember, when I finished school, all I did was having fun, while Father was the one who wrinkled his head everyday, cutting papers and sending applications for me! He was more updated than me. All I had to do was to produce good results and Father would settle everything else for me. This is why he pushed me to go to a boarding school for my form 4 and form 5, so the chances for me to excel would be brighter. He had it all planned! I hanya goyang kaki, lepas tu muncung muncung mulut sebab he wouldn't let me go to the same schools as my friends (bertuah punya anak!)!

My success now is largely contributed by Father. If he hadn't pushed me to my potential, mesti I menjadi seorang yang failure. Walaupun I tak adalah hebat sangat, tapi okaylah jugak kan! Kalau Father wasn't around, ditambah lagi dengan sikap pemalas I dan suka ber huha huha, sure I hancus punyeee!!!

Because of this, my husband has so much pride in himself. Like, whenever he sees someone who is successful, he would judge that person whether that person is successful because of his attitude, or is it because of his family background. Annoyingly, he always passes comments like, "Ala, dia tu sebab bapak dia ada cable...Kalau tak, mana boleh berjaya. Hari-hari bangun lambat. Harapkan duit mak bapak je..."

I selalu tegur, tak baik dia cakap macam tu. But I think he was hurt before kot, because I find he repeatedly said, "Ala, sebab dulu atok moyang dia tu keturunan raja, sebab tu lah boleh pandai. Padahal, bukannya kita tak pandai, tapi kita tak ada kesempatan nak belajar!" Then, because of my husband's inclination towards politics and history, mulalah dia buka cerita pasal zaman Tunku Abdul Rahman lah pulak...I pun dengar je lah, padahal dah dengar banyak kali, hehehehe...

I think, it is more for his ego boost kot. I think, he is also proud to marry me lah. Haha, ayat perasan betul aku ni. But, yeah, I think lah. Sebab kadang-kadang dia terlepas cakap, "Tengok I ni, I start from zero. And now, I dapat kahwin dengan you..." And when he felt someone is boasting to him, he would sell names he got to know through me! OMG, this is so embarassing...! Bila ditegur, he would defend himself, "Biar dia rasa! Dia ingat dia seorang je kenal macam-macam orang?!"

So, anyway, when before, I couldn't grasp the concept that money do play a role in determining your degree of education, but after I met so many people who actually can't afford to pay for the school fees, I think, yeah, I have to agree lah. Which means, you have to set your priorities straight. Put some money aside for your children's future use.

I think, (banyaknya 'I think' dalam post kali ni) this is why my husband is a generous person. He easily lends money to his workers and don't really ask for it back. When they ask for their salaries in advance, he would give in. When they request for leaves because they want to send their children to universities, my husband would genuinely congratulate them and give hadiah. "Supaya dia rasa bangga dapat didik anak hingga berjaya. Dan menjadi insentif untuk anak diorang untuk terus berjaya," my husband said.

Colleague: Hari tu, ada orang tegur, aku nampak kurus. Dia cakap, "Lisa, macam mana boleh kurus lepas bersalin ni?" Aku cakaplah, aku breastfeeding. Tengok Ectopy tu, dia kurus juga, sebab dia pun breastfeeding.

Terus I pun perasan kurus...Hehehe...

------

Since Lisa just got back from her confinement leave, she noticed Ijah had gained weight.

Ijah was walking with her boss.

Lisa: Ijah, Ijah! Ijah dah mengandung berapa bulan ni?

Ijah: (All smiles) Ijah tak mengandunglah...

OMG! And she said this in front of Ijah's boss.

I also haven't seen Ijah in a while. So, I asked Lisa, "Ijah dah gemuk ke sekarang?"

Lisa: Ye...Dia dah berisi dah!

Me: Kenapa dia boleh gemuk pula?

Lisa: Entah. Dia cakap sebab dia dah stop breastfeeding.

------

My husband is now 60kg. He is usually 65kg.

Me: Kurusnya Abang ni! Pakai seluar dah tak cantik sebab longgar...

Husband: Sejak ada anak ni, kita dua jadi kurus dah...

Me: I kurus ke? Hehehehe...

------

Husband: Ectopy, dulu you nasi lemak 50 sen. Sekarang nasi lemak seringgit setengah. Tapi Baby K yang dapat rasa nasi lemak tu. Abang dah tak dapat dah...Hahahaha!

------

My niece is 5 years old but her parents teach her how important exams are, which makes Mother so annoyed.

Mother: Mengada-ngada abang kamu tu! Budak tu kecik lagi...Dia suruh belajarlah, bagi homework lah...
Me: Baguslah dia pentingkan pelajaran...
Mother: Alah, budak-budak kena main...Ada ke patut dia cakap, kalau dapat semua A baru boleh pergi Legoland.
Me: Tadika pun ada exam ke? Exam colouring kot...Kalau colour cantik, dapat A!

-----

Niece Ana: Auntie Ectopy! Uncle Ectopy! Bila besar, Ana nak jadi doctor! Sebab masa exam hari tu, Ana dapat semua A...!
Husband: Hahaha...Oh, ye ke? Ana dapat semua A?
Niece Ana: Ye...Semua A! Papa kata papa nak bawa Ana pergi Legoland!

Me: What about you, Yaya? What do you want to be when you grow up?
Niece Yaya: I want to be a princess.

-__-

Haha!
(Ana and Yaya are both 5 years old.)

-----

One fine day, my husband, my son, my niece Ana, and I went out to a shopping mall.

We went to the kids section, and Ana was excited to see all the Hello Kitty.

Ana stopped, her eyes were big, and she shrieked, "Hello Kitty!"

Ana is a shy kid. She pulled my hand, "Can we go see that? That? That?"

I said, "Okay. Abang, can you bring them see that?" I wanted some time alone to look for clothes for my son.

My husband brought them to look at the toys.

Once I was done with shopping, I went to them.

Husband: Macam ni kot kalau ada anak perempuan.
Me: Kenapa?
Husband: Nak Hello Kitty lah, nak teddy bear lah, nak mainan make up lah...Semua benda pink!

Haha!

Then, Ana stopped us again when we walked by Furby.

Ana: Ana nak Furby! Uncle Ectopy, Ana nak Furby!
Husband: Apa benda ni?

Haha!

Apparently, my cousin's daughter has been asking her for a Furby too. She wrote about it on Facebook. One of my cousin's friends replied, "I have one, I bought it for myself!"
This new Furby is appealing to adults too, I guess.

-----

On the way back, Ana fell asleep. Once we reached Mother's house, she was still sleeping. Slowly, my husband lifted her up, trying not to wake her up, but she woke up anyway.

"Uncle Ectopy," she said suddenly, still feeling dazed, "Ana nak jadi doctor..."

Haha! Sempat lagi mengigau nak jadi doctor!