matang.

Walaupun saya masih belum berkahwin,
walaupun sepanjang pengetahuan saya, belum pernah ada masalah bapa saya berkeinginan untuk berpoligami atau meninggalkan ibu saya,
saya masih tetap takut dengan masa hadapan saya.

Saya mempunyai beberapa kawan yang mempunyai masalah keluarga,
saya juga telah banyak berjumpa blog-blog yang menceritakan derita,
secara tak langsung, saya merasakan anything could happen to anybody, anywhen,
sesungguhnya saya ini seorang yang realistik.

http://saifulislam.com/?p=3823#more-3823

Artikel di atas amat membantu.

Saya seorang yang amat lembut hati,
air mata bertitisan membaca komen-komen yang diberi
sebab saya seorang yang suka meletakkan diri sendiri dalam situasi orang lain
supaya saya dapat mengajar diri untuk tidak cepat mengadili orang lain.

Kemudian, kita bersyukur.

my friends' advices

My friend is in the middle of a break-up. Somebody's gonna get hurt soon! I hope she expects this is coming from him.

He has been pouring his relationship problems to me since forever. It has given him sleepless nights. No, there's no third party. The feelings are just not there. He feels that it is unfair for him to keep leading the girl even though he has nothing to give, it's selfish. At the same time, he doesn't want to hurt her because he knows how much she loves him. She's a nice girl, she doesn't deserve to get dumped! Dilemma, dilemma...

Anyway, this friend of mine told me that he is now determined, he has decided to end it all.

Apparently, he has consulted two friends of ours who were both in the same situations before and they are now happy with their new lives. Both are males.

One of the advices is:
Sometimes, you just have to do what's best for you. Sometimes, you don't need to think about other people. You have to find your own happiness. I know it's selfish but masa ni lah nak jadi selfish. Nanti dah lepas kahwin, dah tak boleh nak pilih-pilih teman hidup lagi dah. Sementara ada peluang nak pilih ni, buat sekarang. Nanti kalau salah pilih, menyesal seumur hidup.

My reaction was, "Is that his advice to you! Is he talking about himself? Dari mana dia dapat tu! Mesti girlfriend baru dia yang bagi reasoning macam ni! Just to tell himself out loud that what he did is okay!"
(FYI, both that guy and his new girlfriend dumped their respective couples to be together.)

My friend laughed. At the end of his laugh, he said softly, "Tapi ada betulnya apa yang dia cakap tu..."

I agree.

But for me, right now, I'd rather sacrifice myself for someone's happiness. It wouldn't be a waste. God will know and He will reward us fairly. Right?

Anyway...
Then, my friend let out a big sigh and suggested, "Jom kita break-up and cari couple baru!"

Me: ...I do have a boyfriend, you know...
Friend: But you have a big crush on L, don't you!
Me: L is just a harmless crush. All girls like L. Besides, L has a girlfriend too!
Friend: Ala...John cakap, 'Sedangkan kapal terbang pun boleh di-hijack!'
Me: What?
Friend: Sedangkan kapal terbang pun boleh di hijack!
Me: Pepatah apa ni!
Friend: Hahahaha. John yang cakap. I will remember that forever.

Our friends and their advices...

gossips

For those avid readers out there, I think you must have known about the new writer who reviews/ critics blogs.

Such an amusement.

S/he doesn't give links of the blogs s/he talks about but the hints are quite obvious.
What surprises me is I know every single blog that s/he writes about (there are about 5 or 6 so far). Does this mean I read way too many blogs?

I always thought if the blog didn't have many comments, it means it's not popular. So, when I read these 'unpopular' blogs, I thought I was 'special' to discover them. Because really, some of them are good writers.

But even these 'low-profile' blogs (or so I thought) are being reviewed.

I still don't have any judgement on the blog writers even after s/he reveals embarassing facts about them. Some are just his/ her opinions on the blogs s/he reads.

It's just fun because it's like reading a gossip magazine!
It's fun reading the comments too because they participate in sharing information with each other.

I hope nobody would be affected by her/ his reviews. I still want to read your blogs! Don't privatise or close down your blogs!

Oh, well, welcome to the blogging world.

Me? I just know a few bloggers out there. A couple through this blog, some I just know because they are somebody's friends, somebody's seniors, somebody's parents, somebody's aunts/ uncles, somebody's schoolmates, somebody's colleagues (and the list goes on)...

I used to have an impression on someone before. Then, I discovered her blog and began to follow her blog. It totally changed my opinion on her.

Okay, that's all my gossip for today.

If I had kids...

I would tell them

The things that you want, you can't always get.
The things that you want/ get are not always good for you.

Life.

mixed.

My boyfriend just closed three deals. He and his projects.
He said it's rezeki nak kahwin.
I am happy for him.

But I couldn't help but feel he is stealing my nikmat.

Rezeki nak kahwin I bila?





My boyfriend missed the flight to KL because he was stuck in the meeting. (Meeting apa 9.30am to 5pm!) He was supposed to meet my parents. I don't want his work to compromise with my 'nak kahwin' thing! Banyak betul halangan.

Looks like I am not too happy afterall.
I am a bad, bad girlfriend. I should've been more understanding.
Okay, I redha. I am happy for him. In fact, I bersyukur he gets the three projects.

apa nak jadi.

I went down the memory lane in search for some kind of happiness.

Teringat tentang seseorang sewaktu berusia 21 tahun.

His housemates would wake him up for Subuh prayer.
When he was not feeling like doing it, he would wake up and wash his face, pretending like he had performed the ablution. Then, he would go into his room and continue sleeping.

Why would someone wash his face and continue sleeping, I don't understand.
Might as well sembahyang terus!

Haha. Kids.

That got me smiling for now. Haha.

ubat.

My life is currently quite depressing.
I've never been this weak. I usually cope well with obstacles.
I don't know why I am not as positive as I used to be.
I am so drained from the insomnia and the irregular sleep and eating patterns, I am so drained from the worries, regrets and tears that have been produced for 7 or more consecutive days.
Sometimes, I don't even know why I worry or why I cry.
I miss my old-self. This is not a very good year for me.

I feel as if I am fake.

Because nobody knows except for you, me and my boyfriend.

For a few months already, I've created an imaginary expressionless white angel who would hug me when I am sad. She has long white hair and she always lean on my body and stroke my hair and back when I lie down crying. She never says anything but I know she wants me to know that everything is going to be alright. She reminds and ensures me that I am still a great person despite the stupid mistakes I made, despite my inadequacy in many areas, I am still great.

I miss my confidence and self-esteem.
I miss getting good results equivalent to the amount of efforts I have put in something.

My boyfriend tells me not to think too much. Some things should be let go because we don't have the power to turn back time. He also accused for not being grateful and having faith in God's plans. Not helping!

All I can believe now is things will get better. But when?

Persistent depressing thoughts like these can be quite a bore to you. I am even bored with myself and my negavity. I can't understand why and how someone could stand with my attitudes. If I were someone else, I woud run away from me. (Okay, here I go again)

I am sick.

Beri saya ubat.
Ubat gembira.
Ubat untuk sakit badan.
Ubat untuk lenguh tangan.
Ubat untuk penat otak.
Ubat untuk tulang belakang.
Ubat rehat.
Ubat amnesia semua kesilapan bodoh.
Ubat berhenti menangis.
Ubat berhenti runsing.
Ubat yakin diri.
Ubat indah.

My ex-boyfriend was a social drug user. When I was feeling down, I told him I wanted the drugs for recreational use (bring my mind to the happy park). I've heard so much about how they help you feeling euphoric. I desperately wanted something to lift me up high.

You know what? He said he would get them for me.

What kind of a boyfriend is that!
Lucky I ditched him before he screwed me up.

special

Guys, would I be happier if I had you as my partner?

Ladies, would I be happier if I had your partners as my partner?





I like 'special' people. The retards, the genuinely crazy people, the senile.
Many people think they are useless.
But I believe their existance has a purpose in our lives.
They remind me to be grateful for being me.
Watching them is a humbling experience. You just feel like you want to make the most out of now before you lose the abilities and/or memories.
They remind you that some things are more important than worrying over work, money, silly fights with your neighbours.

Noone is ever useless. Not even if you think you are a failure.
"Perhaps, the only reason of my living, is as a reminder to other people" (I can't remember the source of this quote)

That's why I am against abortion. I am also against euthanasia. Who are we to decide who is worth living or not? Who are we to decide who would be a burden to the society?

I don't pity these people or the people who are taking care of them.
They are so special, sometimes, I want to be like them. So care-free, innocent and sincere.

Orang yang dah hilang akal, bila mati, confirm masuk syurga.
Isn't that everybody's ideal ultimate goal?

If we swap lives today, will I be happy like you?

I want the things that you have that I don't have.

Can?

Bahasa jiwa bangsa

One fine morning...

Boy: Apa maksud read-dress?
Me: Read-dress? Macam mana spelling?
Boy: R-E-A-D-D-R-E-S-S
Me: (Mind goes wandering off after the letter 'A') Entah. I tak tahu maksudnya.
Boy: Maksudnya, tukar alamat.
Me: (Silent. Because of shock)

I took a deep breath and said, "That's RE-ADDRESS."

Boy: (Gelak-gelak malu) Haha! I salah baca!
Me: (Laughs along to minimise his humiliation)
Boy: You jangan bagitahu kawan you tau, malu I!
Me: You jangan buat I malu depan kawan I.

I'm a bit concerned with my boyfriend's command in the English language.







A little girl was fetched from the school by her grandparent. She was obviously upset, she cried all the way home.

"Kenapa nangis? Kena buli ke? Selalu main kejar-kejar. Hari ni jatuh ke? Ada orang pukul ke?"

That's how bad the crying was. Sampai orang ingat dia kena pukul.
She refused to tell and continued to sob.

Finally, she calmed down. She got a B for her Bahasa Melayu end-of-year exam. All of her friends scored As for the paper.

She's only 9. She isn't supposed to feel sad over her silly exam result!
The first time I felt competitive in my studies was when I was in standard 6!

Putting myself in her shoes, everyone expects her to do well in BM because she was one of the few selected Malay students in her class. The others must have teased her, or she simply felt bad because she was beaten by those who do not even speak Malay at home. She knows the only paper that keeps pulling her marks down is her BM paper. It was the end-of-year exam. It's stressful for her.

My niece has always had problems with his BM. We don't know how else to help her.







Boy: I dah tak boleh tengok YouTube lagi or several other websites.
Me: Why?
Boy: Dah kena block.
Me: Why?
Boy: Ada orang datang office, masuk website porn. I tak mahu orang tengok porn dalam computer I. Nanti office I tak berkat.

Okay. Semoga segala urusanmu diberkati.